Small Restbites of Relief – or thank god, I don’t have to think for a minute.

Relax

Hi there, I’m the Wee Writing Lassie – you may remember me from such blog posts like ‘The Ultimate Lockdown Reading List’ or ‘The Great Star Wars Lockdown Binge’ and many more titles, sometimes not even involving the word Lockdown at all. I’m here today to ask you, the Wee Reader, a question. Actually, it’s a bunch of questions, and they’re all rhetorical so don’t feel pressed to answer them in the comments down below. Seriously, this is just part of the bit I’m doing.

Have you been locked in your house for an extended period of time, in what can only be called some kind of illegal imprisonment? Terrified you might catch the 21st equivalent of the plague? Your favorite celebrities no longer watchable after some very distressing allegations? Fighting off the slow creep of depression laced boredom and apathy that comes from being unable to go farther than five miles from your house for nearly three months? Well, then you need Small Restbites of Relief – the guaranteed way that you, yes you can forget your troubles and all the troubles of the world for even the smallest measure of time.

Warning: Restbites are not a cure for actual depression, and should really not be treated like they are.  Also, not all Restbites will work for everyone, Restbites of Relief are a personal thing and really should be judged on a case by case basis. Honestly, the only reason the Wee Lassie is doing this blog like this, rather than in a top ten list like a sane person, is because she thought it would be funny and we all really need a good laugh right now. May cause bloating and dry mouth.

Six

Do you feel physically bogged down under the weight of the corruption in your government? Are politicians you once liked suddenly seeming no longer so brash and shiny? Well take a step back in time with me, Wee Readers, into a land where everyone was pretty much just as bad, but with the proviso that they’re now all long dead – so they can’t ruin your life.

The Musical Six is a retelling of the lives of Henry VIII’s six wives, as if they were a girl band. And not just any kind of girl band either, no, a Spice Girls like band. Complete with terrible cockney accents and all. There’s something so relaxing about not having to worry if the political figures being sung about are up and about doing evil today for, like I said before, they’re all dead.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Does the madness of the world feel like it’s about to break you? Has just going out to the shops become a walk through that book with the title you don’t want to say, because you’ll sound like a crazy person? Well join me in the sweet escape of life told from the point of view of an actual crazy person. No, Rachel Bloom is not crazy but her character certainly is – and as you watch the total complete mess she makes of her life, before they put her on meds, you can feel relaxed in knowing that at least no one has ever stalked you across the country in a futile attempt to fix their own fractured psyche. I mean, that you know of.

Community

Getting frustrated about the giant hole in your tooth that should have been fixed weeks ago and is now filling your mouth with a terrible taste? No, just me?  Well that’s probably for the best, seeing as how the show Community has absolutely nothing to do with that. I just needed an outlet for my frustration at the current lack of any Dentists open! Anyway, unlike the world today, Community is an enjoyably insane show.

The show Community tells the tale of a group of roughly seven students at a community college, and their wacky teachers and the hi-jinks that follow. While characters often change, with new ones brought to the forefront to the replace the old ones after their actor either left, or in the case of Chevy Chase, asked to leave – the roles these characters played, stayed somewhat consistent.

They have:

The sarcastic leading man – Supplied by the character of Jeff, a lawyer who faked his law degree and now has to go back to college. 

The dippy freedom fighter – supplied by the character of Britta, an activist who has never once voted.

The Meta One – Abed, who I particularly enjoy not only because he’s a very likable character, and his meta humour is hilarious, but because he’s a depiction of an autistic character who isn’t also a complete dick.

The Cool Geek – Troy, a former football star who lost his scholarship when he injured himself takes this role for the first five seasons, and then kind of no one does after Donald Glover left to focus on his music.

The Motherly one – this role is filled by the character of Shirley, a mother of three who first joined the college after her husband ran off with a stripper, for the first five seasons and then sort of left empty for the sixth.

The Control freak – Annie, a recovering drug addict with a penchant for dramatics, and selling out the school at the earliest opportunity. A fact that she rarely gets called out on.

The Oldest member– A role filled by the character of Pierce in the first four seasons before Chevy Chase was fired. After which the character of Hickey – played by Johnathan Banks from Breaking Bad – took up the mantle as the oldest member of the group. Although unlike Pierce, Hickey was a teacher instead of a student. After Johnathan Banks left to go star in Better Call Saul, the role was taken up by the character of Elroy played by Keith David.

Now you might say, this is all well and good Wee Lassie, but you’ve not really said much about the show itself. Well, in answer I could say that Community is such an ever changing and wacky show that it’s hard to summarize it without either giving the game away or, focusing too much on an element that won’t be prevalent throughout the whole series. Yes, I could say that, but instead I’ll make the far more logical point and ask you if you were thinking about the depressing state of the world through that whole spiel? No? Well then, I think I’ve proven my point now haven’t I?

Coco

Not all Pixar films age well, in fact some of them are probably going to become practically unwatchable, if those allocations we’ve all heard about turn out to be in anyway factual. However, I advise not to focus on how depressing potentially losing the Toy Stories or Finding Nemo is, and start giving some attention to the properties that Pixar and Disney have not given unnecessary sequels to. And there are many such films, most not even needing big names to help tell their story – films like Ratatouille, Up, Brave, Wall.e, Inside Out, A Bug’s Life (god I haven’t seen that one in yonks) but my favorite of all of them is the film Coco. I mean for god’s sake, Coco’s aged so well you’d almost think it was written by time travelers from 2020. And no, I won’t explain what I mean by that, you’re just going to have to watch the film for yourself and try to figure it out.

Coco is set on Día de los Muertos, or The Mexican Day of the Dead to us Westerners. A festival taking place at the beginning of November that celebrates the dead, and their connection to the living.  If I’m getting any of this wrong, I apologise, this film is literally my only exposure to this festival, as I live in rural Scotland and never saw the Book of Life.

It’s difficult to describe what I love about this movie without giving away the several turns and twists  the story takes but suffice to say this film may leave you in tears, but isn’t it nice to be crying about something other than the complete collapse of our society for a change?  If you watch anything today, let it be this film – seriously it’s just the best.

Eating take out that didn’t come from those big chains

Lost faith in those big corporations that seem inexplicably to be open despite the fact that more pressing and needed services – like libraries and dentists and hospitals, remain closed or severely limited? Yet despite that, still missing the ease of a takeout dinner? Then why not try your more local takeout restaurants– which thanks to this awful, awful situation is now practically all of them. Although I say this coming from a place of previous distrust with the big chains – particularly McDonald’s – because apparently for the first twenty odd years of my vegan life, that meat fat was just so important to the taste of their chips. Chips, you have to go out of your way to make them not vegan. Ehem, anyway – try something local, you’ll be helping out a smaller business and taking money away from the big chains without missing out on having takeout.

Walks on the Beach

Exercise is extremely important to our health. This has always been a known fact, since the beginning of time humans have known that after a run, you generally feel better than you did before.  Of course, that could just have been from not getting eaten by whatever giant creature you just so happened to have pissed off that day, but you know the same thought applies. Whatever the case you’ll feel better after a nice run in the fresh air, and what’s better than then fresh air – fresh sea air, my Wee Readers! Sea air, salt water and general excise have all been found on the beach. So, take yourself and any loved ones you haven’t been forcibly separated from yet, down to the beach today – and improve your immune system and subsequent mental health.

Or at least you could, if they hadn’t shut all the beaches. I mean I don’t think they’ve done that in Scotland yet, but that’s only because our weather is so bad…IT DOES IT FOR THEM.

Sun

The Sun is a beautiful thing and you should get as much of it as you can during this pandemic – not only because of its benefits to your overall health, but also specifically your mental health. Sunlight increases the release of the hormone serotonin, which boosts your mood and helps a person feel calm and focused. Which is probably why the majority of the really fun, gift giving holidays are held at the darkest times of year when we get less sun.

So, until that one obviously evil billionaire who we’ve all collectively just chosen to trust with our health for some unknown and never specified reason, succeeds in his plan to dim the sun with poisonous levels of dust in the air  – you should get as much sun as you can.

Corona Buffy

 And now we have the final Restbite, coming in last because technically speaking it’s not a full Restbite at all. However, I mention it now because I feel it emphasizes the point that this very strange blog post is trying to make; that is, that staying up to date with world events should go hand in hand with, keeping yourself sane with moments of brevity. Which this small twitter account does perfectly, as it couples articles on deep subject matter with the ever-lovable, and often sarcastic Buffy Gifs, to make their point. Seriously go check it out here and follow this thing – they don’t post often, but it’s always interesting when they do.

If you’ve enjoyed these Brief Restbites of Relief, don’t forget to check me out on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, Tumblr and Instagram. Remember, while it’s important to stay up to date with the goings on in the world right now – disturbing as they are – it is equally important to take care of your own mental health. It’s easy to get bogged down with the weight of everything these days, and anything you can do to relieve that, even if it’s just laughing at a stupid YouTube video, is not wrong. You’re not stupid or small for getting excited for the next episode of your soap, or the next installment of your favorite book series. Wow…that got kind of overly deep for a second…well, I suppose that’s what comes from blogging during a pandemic. Until next time my Wee Readers, get plenty of sunshine, have a bonny day and…let’s hope this is all over by Christmas.

My Coronavirus Soundtrack

This Coronavirus outbreak, and the subsequent madness of the whole god damn world, has left me feeling quite depressed. So to cheer myself up I began formulating a playlist of happy songs – as you do. But for a while that’s all it was, just a thing for myself, and it wasn’t until my mother asked if I was going to blog it, that a far more inventive idea came to me. Why just make a playlist that cheers me up about the coronavirus, when I could make an entire soundtrack for the bloody thing. So here before you, is the finished work – note, this is just a bit of fun and not to be taken as a serious account of the state of the world. We get enough of that from the news and (if you’re like me) Twitter, and while this outbreak is a serious thing, sometimes we just need to laugh.

1. Prologue – this isn’t the first crisis we’ve faced

2. The Outbreak Begins

The First Official cases are reported across the world

3. And so we took to Twitter

Honestly this is the first time in my life I’m checking Twitter several times a day.

4. Trying to Understand why this is happening

5. Wash your hands for 20 seconds

6. The Bog-roll Crisis

I didn’t even have to stretch for this one

7. More Panic Buying…I mean what were people thinking?

8. #CorbynMustStay

Oh Jeremy Corbyn, we almost had a socialist Prime Minister. This one may be slightly localized to Great Britain – but this is a British Blog, (at least for now) so what can you expect?

9. Schools Close for Most

If you think this is an inappropriate song, you should see the one I almost put here.

10. The March of the Covidiots: or this is not a song that should fit so well this late in the timeline of a Pandemic

11. And so the Army was called in

Well, the police anyway.

12. Quarantine Life

Well, guess we can’t leave our houses now.

13. Disney + released

If they didn’t want the comparison, they shouldn’t have bought the franchise.

14. And so the Great Binge watch of 2020 began…

Yes, it’s just the Simpsons theme…why? What are you watching?

15. Clap for the NHS, and Stay Home

Being serious here people, the NHS (and other healthcare systems around the world) are already overworked – don’t overwhelm them, stay at home and watch Friends.

16. Coming out of Lockdown

Speaks for itself really.

17. And Hopefully we’re all still…

If this playlist offered you any joy during these dark days don’t forget to follow the Wee blog, if you haven’t already. Also don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and Goodreads. Also check out The Wee Mailing List, for all new content. Keep safe, Wee Readers, and don’t forget to laugh whenever you can – it’s good for the soul. So, until next time, have a bonny day.

Memories of a 2019 GoodReads Challenge: or, the top ten books to read while you’re social distancing

What ho Wee Readers, how are you all doing? Are you trapped at home in quarantine? Or practicing social distancing to protect yourself and or your family? Yeah, my Mum’s got a damaged lung, so I’m right there with you. At times like these the world can seem a terrifying place, almost overwhelmingly so – and I find the best cure for such depressing thoughts, can be found in the pages of a good book.

Wow, that was a far more depressing opening than I thought it would be. Anyway, if you’ve been following my Goodreads account, then you’ll know that I really enjoy their Reading Challenge. At the beginning of 2020, I challenged myself to read a hundred books, which is quite a step up from the thirty I read in 2019. I’m well on my way to completing this year’s challenge, so I’d just thought I’d take a look back at my favorite reads of last year, to try and forget about this year.

10. Finding Serenity: Anti-Heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon’s Firefly

This is a collection of essays about the cancelled tv show Firefly, one of two I read over the course of 2019 – though by far this is the superior volume. Mainly because unlike its sequel, it didn’t go on and on about how not having aliens in it made Firefly the greatest sci-fi show ever to exist. Or sneering at the notion that anyone would ever put an alien in their space fiction, let alone actually believe in life on other planets. Which, as someone who is patiently waiting for the mother-ship to return, I find slightly offensive. Anyway, you won’t find any of that nonsense in this book – at least, none that I can remember.

9. Jeff Wayne’s The War of the Worlds: The Musical Drama

So…Michael Sheen’s voice…wow. Anyway, back on topic…I started this post quite a while ago, and then got pulled away to write another essay (I know I’ve said that before, but it’s not just an excuse, it really is what I’ve been doing all this time) and during that interval the world kind of…exploded. Basically, we somehow woke up one day and found ourselves living in a dystopian novel, which is…well…bad whatever, but if it was going to happen, why couldn’t it be ‘The War of the Worlds’ instead? Look I’m not trying to be crass here, I’m well aware how terrible the coronavirus, the mass panic buying of loo roll…for some unexplained reason…and well everything the British government has been doing lately, is. All I’m saying is that I would rather watch Boris Johnson be disintegrated by a Martian, than worry about the bloody coronavirus.

8. Coffee at Luke’s: An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest Edited by Jennifer Cruise

So, this is a thing. Rather like the first book on this list, this is a collection of essays; except this time on the topic of Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls is one of those shows in which I have a… complicated relationship with. On the one hand I loved the original show, and yet like many of you out there I found the revival lacking in the charm that made the original so appealing. Also, the characters were all awful, and by that, I mean they were all awful people. Where they like that in the original, I don’t remember that. Still the book is well worth a look, even for the most disappointed of Gilmore Girls fans, and I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys digging deeper into their favorite shows.

7. The Silmarillion by J.R.R Tolkien.

J.R.R. Tolkien’s least enjoyable book…there I said it. I’m of two minds about this book, on the one hand nowhere else is J.R.R. Tolkien’s genius most evident, and yet the only way to describe how I manged to finish this is: with great difficulty. Whether or not you enjoy this book really depends on how much you’re invested in the Elves as a people – for you see The Silmarillion is not just the history of Middle-Earth, it’s the History of Middle-Earth as told by the ruling class of Elves. It’s why we never really get a look into the other races unless they’ve had direct contact with the elves. Notice how it’s only the men who live under the Elves sovereignty who are in anyway explored in a meaningful way. This isn’t the story of Middle-earth but rather how the elves perceive it. And nowhere is this more apparent than the story of the petty Dwarves. The petty dwarves were a diminutive race that lived in the continent of Beleriand (the north most tip of middle-earth) during the first age (or at least round about that time, Middle-earth calendars are a lot less straightforward than you’d think). In fact, they were the first people to live in Beleriand, even before the elves – and what did the elves do when they got there? Come on, we all live in a post-colonist world, you know what they did. That’s right, they massacred them…hunted them for sport actually. Claiming all the while that they thought they were animals. While they do stop doing this once they meet the larger dwarves, and realize the creatures they were gleefully slaughtering – which had worn clothes, and held weapons – were not in fact a strange kind of boar. However, they don’t actually seem to feel guilty about what they’d done. In fact, the text itself implies that the petty dwarves had it coming, because they were…unpleasant, and didn’t like anyone. My Valar of the Forge and Earth, why would a people that have been hunted to near extinction, and smeared in the history books, not have a sunny disposition? Madness, don’t they know that the feelings of their murders come first above all things.

Yes, I am a Tolkien nerd, why do you ask?

6. Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel by Daniel Jose Older

They should have let the cooking robot kill Ben Solo. Out of context that sentence sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it? But trust me, after you read this book, you’ll know what I mean. Anyway, getting down to business. Despite my first impressions of the film I can freely admit that ‘Solo’ is by far and away probably one the weaker members of the Star Wars franchise. Many people have tried to pinpoint the exact reason for this – raging from the sensible to the outright ludicrous – but I have come to the conclusion that ultimately, it was the pacing that let Solo down. Namely, it was originally supposed to be three films, but got squished into one for…some reason…and you can really tell. Despite this, the film had many positive qualities, not least among which was being the only film to note the cruelty many heroes casually throw at droids – I mean it didn’t do it well, but at least it mentioned it. Last Shot is everything Solo should have been: it explores Han Solo’s past but only so much as it pertains to the story, and it gives characters that had previously been killed off before they could do anything more than snark a chance to shine. And most of all, droid abuse and activism was made a central theme and story plot, rather than just something to be giggled at.

5. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

The book is better than the show. Yeah, I’ll say it, the show was needlessly dark and depressing and… that second season, oh my god, did I hate that second season. I couldn’t even watch it to the end. Look I know both the book and the show cover heavy topics that need to be taken seriously, like abuse, possible murder and body issues, but somehow the book was able to do that without making every single character completely unlikable. I mean what was with that story-line of Madeline cheating on Ed? She didn’t need more drama in her story, her book story-line was dramatic enough and unique. It wasn’t just another copy and paste affair arch. In conclusion, read the book and skip the show.

4. Revenge of the Sith by Mathew Stover

I love this book. I’ve read it more than once, more than thrice really, and each time it just gets better. A common trend when praising this book, is to imply that it vastly improves upon the original film. However, I’m not going to say that, because quite frankly not only is that kind of petty prequel hate repugnant to me in every way but, I found nothing to hate in the original film. In fact, it’s one of my favourites. What I will say is Mathew Stover’s take on the fall of Anakin Skywalker and the rise of Darth Vader is interesting and new, not better just different – but I found his description of the force, particularly how Obi-Wan experiences it, the most fascinating I’ve ever encountered in any Star Was franchise media, films included.

3. Snape: A definitive Reading by Lorrie Kim

Awesome, just awesome. Severus Snape is the essential base-breaking character. You either love him or loathe him, there doesn’t seem to be any neutral ground on this issue, but that doesn’t matter because Snape a Definitive Reading is the book for both sides of the argument. Whether you love him and want a conformation of why he is so awesome, or you absolutely hate him, but want an insight into what all your crazy friends see in him, this is the book for you.

2. Room by Emma Donoghue

I love this book. I was so, so about the film – since as a visual medium it lost much of the magic that was Jack’s misunderstanding about his situation in the beginning of the story – but the book was fantastic. Now I’m assuming, Wee Readers, that each of you fall into one of two categories. Either you’ve already read this book/watched the film, and know each of the ins and outs of the story, and therefore don’t need me to tell you what you already know; or you have no idea what I’m even talking about. In which case I don’t want to ruin the story for you. So I’ll just say this, if you’re stuck at home at this strange time, pick up a kindle or audible version of this book, sit back and enjoy.

1. The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair

Speaking of good books to read while you’re waiting out the coronavirus. This is, and I don’t think I’m overstating this, the best book published in 2019, hands down. If you’ve been following my blog for a while – hello early Wee Readers – you’ll remember I interviewed the author herself a few months back. If you’re interested go check that out here, or Ailish’s own blog here. There now the plugging is done, onto the real talk of the book.  Without giving away the end – because as we all know, only gypes give out spoilers on the internet – this a book that will not end how you think it will. Whether you are a fan of sweeping Romance, accurate Historical Fiction, Heroines that aren’t a size two, or like me an accurate portrayal of a Scottish accent… this is the book for you. Trust me, Wee Readers, you will not be thinking about the coronavirus while you’re reading this book. Seriously go out and buy this book.

If this wee post has distracted you at all from the ongoing dystopian narrative, we’ve all somehow found ourselves living through, then don’t forget to follow the wee blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter – where I am hilarious – Facebook, Pinterest, GoodReads, Tumblr and Instagram. Also check out my Wee Mailing List ,for brand new content. Until next time my Wee Readers, have a bonny day.