The Wee Writing Lassie’s Top Ten “Dumb” Videos to watch while the World Burns

What ho, Wee Readers! Well, that last post got kind of deep and thoughtful, strange for something that was suppose to be about distracting yourself from the terribleness of the world right now. I mean I think it was a good post, it just wasn’t what I planned for when I started out – so with this one, it is just going to be relaxing fluff, I swear. So why not sit back, relax, and join me as I go through the top ten “dumb” videos to watch while the world burns. Yeah, that sounds simple – I can stick to that. It’s not like I’m incapable of finding simple joy in things anymore.

10. Watchmojo – Top 10 Best Simpsons Couch Gags

So far so…mostly…good.

9. Collegehumour – Everyday is a Holiday on Twitter

Yeah, Twitter…I’m sure there’s nothing distressing trending on there right now. I am acing this.

8. The Take – Why Ted is the Villain of How I Met Your Mother

Okay, so reevaluating media you used to like due to the outdated and horrifying implications of the writing. Well, when is that ever not relevant?

7. Studio C – Clue Murder Mystery Scandal

A billionaire confesses to multiple crimes due to the bare minimum of prodding from a police officer. Comedy Sketch, or Bill Gates future?

6. The Nostalgia Critic – The Adam Sandler Song

I’m sure….Adam Sandler’s not accused of anything. You know, right now.

5. Pop Culture Detective – Stranger Things, Belligerent Romance and the Danger of Nostalgia

Okay, so maybe ‘Dumb Videos’ was a tad too restrictive a bar to reach. It’s still distracting though so, I can do this.

4. Rachel Bloom – I Don’t Care About Award Shows

Oh my God, award shows are gonna become unwatchable if all those allegations of the Hollywood elites turn out to be true. No! No, I’m not going to let my mind drift to there again.

3. Adam Ruins Everything – Why Billionaire Philanthropy is Not So Selfless 

Wow, this video just suddenly got very relevant. So…yeah…we’ve established I hate Bill Gates and now we’re moving on.

2.Overly Sarcastic Productions – Just For Funsies: College, Hell, What’s the Difference?

Ha! Ha! I did it! It may not be dumb but there’s nothing in this video that could remind anyone of the awful state of the world. Except…exams were canceled due to fear of Covid19. No, no, I can do this – there are no knew comparisons! After all, we’re not in any kind of hell….it’s not like people are being terrible to each other by illegally policing the wearing of face-masks inside of shops. Maybe even accosting people with disabilities that prevent them from wearing a mask, demanding that they prove said disability. Something, which as we all should know by now is a violation of not only basic decency, but actual human rights. But I mean, what lunatic would do that?

1. AwakenWithJP – What it’s Like to Believe Everything the Media Tells You

You see that introduction up there where I promise this was just going to be a nice list of dumb videos to get you through a tough time? Yeah, that was a lie, I apologize for that.

If you’ve enjoyed this misleading little journey don’t forget to follow the wee blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, Tumblr and Goodreads. And sign up for the Wee Mailing List for brand new content…eventually. So until next time, my Wee Readers, remember to get plenty of sun, laugh as much as you can, eat healthy and from here in Scotland, have a bonny day.

Small Restbites of Relief – or thank god, I don’t have to think for a minute.

Relax

Hi there, I’m the Wee Writing Lassie – you may remember me from such blog posts like ‘The Ultimate Lockdown Reading List’ or ‘The Great Star Wars Lockdown Binge’ and many more titles, sometimes not even involving the word Lockdown at all. I’m here today to ask you, the Wee Reader, a question. Actually, it’s a bunch of questions, and they’re all rhetorical so don’t feel pressed to answer them in the comments down below. Seriously, this is just part of the bit I’m doing.

Have you been locked in your house for an extended period of time, in what can only be called some kind of illegal imprisonment? Terrified you might catch the 21st equivalent of the plague? Your favorite celebrities no longer watchable after some very distressing allegations? Fighting off the slow creep of depression laced boredom and apathy that comes from being unable to go farther than five miles from your house for nearly three months? Well, then you need Small Restbites of Relief – the guaranteed way that you, yes you can forget your troubles and all the troubles of the world for even the smallest measure of time.

Warning: Restbites are not a cure for actual depression, and should really not be treated like they are.  Also, not all Restbites will work for everyone, Restbites of Relief are a personal thing and really should be judged on a case by case basis. Honestly, the only reason the Wee Lassie is doing this blog like this, rather than in a top ten list like a sane person, is because she thought it would be funny and we all really need a good laugh right now. May cause bloating and dry mouth.

Six

Do you feel physically bogged down under the weight of the corruption in your government? Are politicians you once liked suddenly seeming no longer so brash and shiny? Well take a step back in time with me, Wee Readers, into a land where everyone was pretty much just as bad, but with the proviso that they’re now all long dead – so they can’t ruin your life.

The Musical Six is a retelling of the lives of Henry VIII’s six wives, as if they were a girl band. And not just any kind of girl band either, no, a Spice Girls like band. Complete with terrible cockney accents and all. There’s something so relaxing about not having to worry if the political figures being sung about are up and about doing evil today for, like I said before, they’re all dead.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Does the madness of the world feel like it’s about to break you? Has just going out to the shops become a walk through that book with the title you don’t want to say, because you’ll sound like a crazy person? Well join me in the sweet escape of life told from the point of view of an actual crazy person. No, Rachel Bloom is not crazy but her character certainly is – and as you watch the total complete mess she makes of her life, before they put her on meds, you can feel relaxed in knowing that at least no one has ever stalked you across the country in a futile attempt to fix their own fractured psyche. I mean, that you know of.

Community

Getting frustrated about the giant hole in your tooth that should have been fixed weeks ago and is now filling your mouth with a terrible taste? No, just me?  Well that’s probably for the best, seeing as how the show Community has absolutely nothing to do with that. I just needed an outlet for my frustration at the current lack of any Dentists open! Anyway, unlike the world today, Community is an enjoyably insane show.

The show Community tells the tale of a group of roughly seven students at a community college, and their wacky teachers and the hi-jinks that follow. While characters often change, with new ones brought to the forefront to the replace the old ones after their actor either left, or in the case of Chevy Chase, asked to leave – the roles these characters played, stayed somewhat consistent.

They have:

The sarcastic leading man – Supplied by the character of Jeff, a lawyer who faked his law degree and now has to go back to college. 

The dippy freedom fighter – supplied by the character of Britta, an activist who has never once voted.

The Meta One – Abed, who I particularly enjoy not only because he’s a very likable character, and his meta humour is hilarious, but because he’s a depiction of an autistic character who isn’t also a complete dick.

The Cool Geek – Troy, a former football star who lost his scholarship when he injured himself takes this role for the first five seasons, and then kind of no one does after Donald Glover left to focus on his music.

The Motherly one – this role is filled by the character of Shirley, a mother of three who first joined the college after her husband ran off with a stripper, for the first five seasons and then sort of left empty for the sixth.

The Control freak – Annie, a recovering drug addict with a penchant for dramatics, and selling out the school at the earliest opportunity. A fact that she rarely gets called out on.

The Oldest member– A role filled by the character of Pierce in the first four seasons before Chevy Chase was fired. After which the character of Hickey – played by Johnathan Banks from Breaking Bad – took up the mantle as the oldest member of the group. Although unlike Pierce, Hickey was a teacher instead of a student. After Johnathan Banks left to go star in Better Call Saul, the role was taken up by the character of Elroy played by Keith David.

Now you might say, this is all well and good Wee Lassie, but you’ve not really said much about the show itself. Well, in answer I could say that Community is such an ever changing and wacky show that it’s hard to summarize it without either giving the game away or, focusing too much on an element that won’t be prevalent throughout the whole series. Yes, I could say that, but instead I’ll make the far more logical point and ask you if you were thinking about the depressing state of the world through that whole spiel? No? Well then, I think I’ve proven my point now haven’t I?

Coco

Not all Pixar films age well, in fact some of them are probably going to become practically unwatchable, if those allocations we’ve all heard about turn out to be in anyway factual. However, I advise not to focus on how depressing potentially losing the Toy Stories or Finding Nemo is, and start giving some attention to the properties that Pixar and Disney have not given unnecessary sequels to. And there are many such films, most not even needing big names to help tell their story – films like Ratatouille, Up, Brave, Wall.e, Inside Out, A Bug’s Life (god I haven’t seen that one in yonks) but my favorite of all of them is the film Coco. I mean for god’s sake, Coco’s aged so well you’d almost think it was written by time travelers from 2020. And no, I won’t explain what I mean by that, you’re just going to have to watch the film for yourself and try to figure it out.

Coco is set on Día de los Muertos, or The Mexican Day of the Dead to us Westerners. A festival taking place at the beginning of November that celebrates the dead, and their connection to the living.  If I’m getting any of this wrong, I apologise, this film is literally my only exposure to this festival, as I live in rural Scotland and never saw the Book of Life.

It’s difficult to describe what I love about this movie without giving away the several turns and twists  the story takes but suffice to say this film may leave you in tears, but isn’t it nice to be crying about something other than the complete collapse of our society for a change?  If you watch anything today, let it be this film – seriously it’s just the best.

Eating take out that didn’t come from those big chains

Lost faith in those big corporations that seem inexplicably to be open despite the fact that more pressing and needed services – like libraries and dentists and hospitals, remain closed or severely limited? Yet despite that, still missing the ease of a takeout dinner? Then why not try your more local takeout restaurants– which thanks to this awful, awful situation is now practically all of them. Although I say this coming from a place of previous distrust with the big chains – particularly McDonald’s – because apparently for the first twenty odd years of my vegan life, that meat fat was just so important to the taste of their chips. Chips, you have to go out of your way to make them not vegan. Ehem, anyway – try something local, you’ll be helping out a smaller business and taking money away from the big chains without missing out on having takeout.

Walks on the Beach

Exercise is extremely important to our health. This has always been a known fact, since the beginning of time humans have known that after a run, you generally feel better than you did before.  Of course, that could just have been from not getting eaten by whatever giant creature you just so happened to have pissed off that day, but you know the same thought applies. Whatever the case you’ll feel better after a nice run in the fresh air, and what’s better than then fresh air – fresh sea air, my Wee Readers! Sea air, salt water and general excise have all been found on the beach. So, take yourself and any loved ones you haven’t been forcibly separated from yet, down to the beach today – and improve your immune system and subsequent mental health.

Or at least you could, if they hadn’t shut all the beaches. I mean I don’t think they’ve done that in Scotland yet, but that’s only because our weather is so bad…IT DOES IT FOR THEM.

Sun

The Sun is a beautiful thing and you should get as much of it as you can during this pandemic – not only because of its benefits to your overall health, but also specifically your mental health. Sunlight increases the release of the hormone serotonin, which boosts your mood and helps a person feel calm and focused. Which is probably why the majority of the really fun, gift giving holidays are held at the darkest times of year when we get less sun.

So, until that one obviously evil billionaire who we’ve all collectively just chosen to trust with our health for some unknown and never specified reason, succeeds in his plan to dim the sun with poisonous levels of dust in the air  – you should get as much sun as you can.

Corona Buffy

 And now we have the final Restbite, coming in last because technically speaking it’s not a full Restbite at all. However, I mention it now because I feel it emphasizes the point that this very strange blog post is trying to make; that is, that staying up to date with world events should go hand in hand with, keeping yourself sane with moments of brevity. Which this small twitter account does perfectly, as it couples articles on deep subject matter with the ever-lovable, and often sarcastic Buffy Gifs, to make their point. Seriously go check it out here and follow this thing – they don’t post often, but it’s always interesting when they do.

If you’ve enjoyed these Brief Restbites of Relief, don’t forget to check me out on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, Tumblr and Instagram. Remember, while it’s important to stay up to date with the goings on in the world right now – disturbing as they are – it is equally important to take care of your own mental health. It’s easy to get bogged down with the weight of everything these days, and anything you can do to relieve that, even if it’s just laughing at a stupid YouTube video, is not wrong. You’re not stupid or small for getting excited for the next episode of your soap, or the next installment of your favorite book series. Wow…that got kind of overly deep for a second…well, I suppose that’s what comes from blogging during a pandemic. Until next time my Wee Readers, get plenty of sunshine, have a bonny day and…let’s hope this is all over by Christmas.

The Ultimate Lockdown Reading List

What Ho, Wee Readers – well it’s been a very long – what’s it been? Three Months of Lockdown here in the United Kingdom – and while some of us have used that time to better themselves with online courses or learning a new skill, I personally have set my sights on getting through my Goodreads Reading Challenge. All one hundred books. I’d been planning to write this post at the end of the year after I’d completed the whole challenge, but since we are more or less still locked in our homes, I thought it would be an interesting task to note down what I’ve been reading. Below you will find a list of all the books I’ve read and the reviews I’ve given them during Lockdown, or at least most of them. I didn’t include any I didn’t give a review to or whose reviews consisted of less than two words since…well, that wouldn’t be very interesting to read. There’s no worst to best, the numbers in the list simply note in what order they were read in – with 18 being the most recent, and 1 being the least. With that said, Wee Readers, onto the list.

18. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

By Jonas Jonasson

Finished on: June 21st

A very entertaining, funny and fascinating story – I highly recommend this book to anyone who’s feeling a bit depressed during the Lockdown.

17. Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files: Wild Card

By Jim Butcher

Finished on: June 17th

The story wasn’t great, the art wasn’t good at all (Marcone’s eyes weren’t even green) and there wasn’t nearly enough John Marcone in it. I know that last thing wouldn’t really be an issue for everyone – but it was an issue for me.

16. Bring Up the Bodies

By Hilary Mantel
Finished on: June 11th

This is even better than the first book, and I loved that. With, and I must say this, a far better title.

15. The Mirror & the Light

By Hilary Mantel

Finished on : June 12th

An excellent book, with a very sad ending.

14. The Handmaid’s Tale: The Graphic Novel

By Renee Nault

Finished on: June 6th

I loved this, a must read for anyone who liked the show or the original book. The art style was a little off putting – but giving the subject matter that was properly the point.

13. Wolf Hall

By Hilary Mantel

Finsihed on: June 9th

I’d enjoyed the BBC version when it came out a while back, and I was pleased to find that the book not only meets it in quality but surpasses it.

12. The Man With the Golden Gun

By Ian Fleming

Finished on: June 2nd

This is depressing

11. Thrawn: Alliances

By Timothy Zahn

Finished on: June 3rd

Is this book making me like the blue space Nazi? This feels slightly self defeating on the part of Star Wars – having said that, I can’t wait till Thrawn gets his first live action appearance, if its anything like this book it is going to be awesome.

10. The Neanderthals Rediscovered: How Modern Science is Rewriting

By Dimitra Papagianni

Finished on: May 30th

A fascinating look through the study and findings of research into the Neanderthals. And although they clearly don’t mean to, when they get to the bit describing Neanderthals in popular culture, they give a good list of novels to read next. I would recommend this book to anyone who is even the least bit interested in history or culture. Although I will say that it left me feeling rather sad, but then most things do in Lockdown, so I wouldn’t blame the book for that.

9. Mythos: The Greek Myths Retold

By Stephen Fry

Finished on: May 27th

A very well done stitching together of the sometimes contradictory myths of ancient Greece. I would certainly recommend this book to anyone who has even the most passing of interest in that fascinating realm of mythology.

8. Joss Whedon’s Names: The Deeper Meanings behind Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Dollhouse, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, Doctor Horrible, In Your Eyes, Comics and More

By Vallerie Estelle Franked

Finished on: May 11th

A fantastic look into the names of the works of Joss Whedon. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in writing, mythology, history, or like myself – all of the above.

7. The Woman who Stole My Life

By Marian Keyes

Finished on: May 9th

This is a very well written book, which is why I’m giving it such a high mark – however, it was just too depressing for me, I couldn’t finish it.

6. Fool Moon

By Jim Butcher

Finished on: April 30th

An excellent addition to a series with a very flawed hero.

5. Bloodline

By Claudia Gray

Finished on: April 20th

This is an excellent book – I would recommend this not just to anyone who felt a little lost during the Force Awakens, or to avid Star Wars fans (like myself) eager to see the next Chapter of Princess Lea’s life; but to anyone who loves a good political thriller/ mystery.

4. This Charming Man

By Marian Keyes

Finsihed on: April 9th

Just a fantastic book – but I’ll be honest I really hope this isn’t representative of real Irish politicians behavior 😁

3. From a Certain Point of View

By Elizabeth Schaefer (Editor),

Finished on: April 1st

This book was fantastic, I would read it over and over again if I could…which seeing as I bought the audio-book, I guess I can. A must-read for anyone even a little interested in the star wars franchise, just brilliant 🙂

2. The Mystery Knight

By George RR Martin

Finished on: March 30th

** spoiler alert ** “I begin to understand why your father was so willing to be rid of you.” – I don’t care if he’s creepy as all seven hells, Blood-raven is the best 😁

1. The Iron Heel

By Jack London

Finished on: March 18th – not actually in the Lockdown, but a relevant enough book that I decided to count it anyway.

So…apparently Jack London was a witch who could see into the future. A well written and thoughtful book, who’s anti capitalist message is really needed in our times of terribleness. But I’ll be honest, it was so close to reality I found it a little depressing.

Well, that’s the last of them. So if you’ve enjoyed this reading list of the basically imprisoned autistic writer / editor in training why not follow the Wee Blog if you haven’t already. Also don’t forget to check me out on Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest, Tumblr, Facebook and of course, my Goodreads account. Where I am 59 books into my 100 book reading challenge. Also take a look at the Wee Mailing List for – eventual – brand new content. I am going to get it to it eventually, I promise. If you want check out the complete list of books in my Goodreads Reading challenge, click on the link and have a look. Until next time Wee Readers, get plenty of sunshine, and have a bonny day.


Palpatine: A Villain through the Ages

Fresh off my Star Wars binge, I am very much still in a Star Wars mood – so what better time to talk about my favorite character that appears in all three trilogies: Sheev Palpatine. Now I’m not one to unhealthy obsess over the villain of the story – I mean I didn’t even like Loki – but I can’t lie, Palpatine has been one of my favorite characters for a long time now. Not in spite of his evil and conniving nature – but because of it. He tricks a whole Galaxy into doing his bidding all by the power of his own subtle political influence. And at the end of the Prequel trilogy this mastermind has won so thoroughly that the Heroes have to go into hiding for twenty years. When the light side does win a victory over good old (or would that be bad old) Palpatine, it’s in the form of the next generation, rather than the original heroes rising up and beating back the dark side. And even then, they don’t manage to kill him.

I could go on and on like this until the end of the post, but since that doesn’t exactly sound entertaining – here’s something completely different. As I’ve already mentioned Palpatine is one of the few characters that carries over into all three trilogies. However unlike say characters like C3PO or R2D2 – Palpatine does not have a consistency to his portrayal. Yet as we can observe, unlike Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader – this lack of consistency to Palpatine’s characterization stems not from extensive character development but, rather a shift in the direction of each trilogy. What do I mean? Well, let’s take a look at all three of them – and I’ll lay it out.

Prequel Palpatine – is a subtle, politically savvy politician, who just so happens to also be a dark lord of the Sith. His plan to control a galaxy through fear and a phony war is brilliant and well thought out, and when at last our heroes catch on to what he’s doing, this dark lord of the sith is sufficiently powerful enough to either turn them or overpower them. If we were to look at this from a more Meta angle we might say that this, more controlled and subtle Palpatine, reflects the tightly plotted nature of the prequels. Who, even if you didn’t enjoy them, you have to admit were the most planned out – plot wise – of all three trilogies.

Original Palpatine (or rather ‘The Emperor’ since I don’t think I heard him referred to Palpatine once in the entire original trilogy) – is at the height of his power and influence. He builds giant space stations, that blow up planets and reigns with a steel grip around the Galaxy. He is also, I’d like to point out, at the height of his madness. All subtlety is gone out the spaceport, and replaced now with the slow creeping decay of a man that once had to think for his power, and now has no need for that at all. This version of Sheev Palpatine we might say, represents the Original trilogy’s more … and there’s no way to say this without it sounding like an insult … simplistic morality of war. This Palpatine doesn’t have to be subtle in his evil nature, because the Original Trilogy’s civil war didn’t spring from the manipulation of politicians, but rather their obvious corruption. Luke doesn’t have to feel bad about blowing up the deathstar, because it blew up Alderaan.

Just a brief WARNING, before we go on – this next park may contain major spoilers.

Sequel Palpatine – is an entirely different creature, from both previous incarnations. A rotting corpse hidden within the unknown regions of the Galaxy, relying on Darth Stupid – yes, that’s what I call Kylo Ren – to bring his granddaughter home, so he can take possession of her body. I think that’s his plan, it’s not clear. Whatever the case, the whole plan feels less impressive than controlling the Galaxy through a phony civil war and blowing up planets. It’s also quite notable that unlike his earlier incarnations, Palpatine only appears in the last movie of the Sequel Trilogy. Sure they claim he was controlling everything from within the shadows, but even knowing that supposed fact, we feel none of his presence in the other two films. Ultimately, this Palpatine’s plan feels more improvised than the other two, possibly reflecting the sharp directional twists and turns the Sequel Trilogy is known to demonstrate. Is the force all about the Jedi and the Sith, or does it belong to anyone? Is Rey in love with Finn or Kylo? Who knows, and who cares, it’s romantic love in the Star Wars Universe, it’s not like it would last anyway. I don’t mean to cut down a series of films that I enjoyed, but I can’t help but note that the inclusion of Palpatine in the final film – and only the final film – gives this incarnation a feeling of being shoved in at the end to please the nostalgia of hardcore Star Wars fans. Which…is something that possibly reflects the shift of power between fan and creator in our age of social media – for not since Jaja Binks has fan reaction so impacted the direction of a character.

So there we have it, three trilogies, three men with the face of Palpatine – and everyone has a favorite. For me, it will always be the prequels – what can I say I was raised on them, they’ll always have a special place in my heart. But what about you, what’s your favorite version of old Palps? Do you enjoy the genius of the Prequels? The Dark side’s living incarnate of the Originals? Or the nostalgic corpse of the Sequels? Comment down below if any of them particularly calls out to you. If you’ve enjoyed this little exploration of my totally not creepy obsession on the most evil character in Star Wars History, make sure to follow the Wee Blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Facebook and Goodreads. And sign up for the Wee Mailing List, for all new content. Stay vigilant, get plenty of Sun and, until next time my Wee Readers, may the force be with you.

The Great Star Wars Lockdown Binge

What ho Wee Readers, and welcome to The Great Star Wars Lockdown Binge. I know, I know, sometimes it feels like this Lockdown is going on forever. And I won’t lie, two months is a ridiculously long time to be stuck in your house – I mean if it wasn’t for streaming services like Disney Plus or Amazon Prime, I’d have snapped along time ago. Turning to more positive subjects…surprise, I’ve got a Disney Plus account now, and of course the only thing to do when one forks over the nearly sixty quid for a subscription, is to force her family to join her in the Great Star Wars Binge. Knowing of course that because they are locked in the house with her, they can’t say no forever.

‘The Great Star Wars Binge’, as I have so coined it, consists of all eleven canonical films – that is, the prequels, the originals, the sequels and both anthology films – along with the two canon series I can in anyway justified making my family watch: The Mandalorian and The Clone Wars. I did plan to watch Rebels as well, but it just never happened. We also did not watch Resistance, because I don’t care how long they keep us locked in here like we’e prisoners. Nothing will make me watch that willingly.

The scoring for each film shall go as follows:

0 – Could Not Be made to Watch

1 – Crap

2 – Just Barely Above Crap

3 – Technically not a bad film, but did not grab me at all

4 – A Good film, but nothing more than that

5 – Absolutely excellent – would watch again

Anything higher than 5 – best film on earth, I am going to binge watch this for the rest of my life. This is what I will be watching on my deathbed.

Right, on with the show.

Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace

The first installment of the groundbreaking prequel trilogy – telling the story of the fall and corruption of the Jedi knight Anakin Skywalker into the sinister Sith Lord Darth Vader. This is a highly under-rated film full of political intrigue, and questions of the true culpability of the republic and the Jedi in the continuation of the practice of Slavery within the Galaxy. Yes, the republic has less influence in the outer rim planets – but you’d still think the Jedi would make some attempt to free one of their new members mothers from a life of slavery.

Mum’s Rating: 6 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 5 / 5

Final Rating: 14

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Jump forward a couple of years and now our young Vader is played by Hayden Christensen. Half love story, half spy thriller – revealing the first sinister steps of Senator Palpatine’s plan to control the galaxy through fear. Creating a fake war, with both sides basically under his control, a plan so dastardly and ingenious that not even the Jedi can see what they are walking into. Palpatine is awesome…I mean evil, completely evil, not cool, or one of my favorite characters…completely evil.

Mum’s Rating: 4 /5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4/5

Final Rating: 11

Star Wars: Episode III – The Revenge of the Sith

The culminating episode of the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker, this is my favorite Star Wars film. Everything set up in the last two films comes to beautiful fruition in this tragic film in which a man tormented with dreams of his wife dying in labor – the same kind of dreams that preceded his own mother’s death – seeks the dark arts for a way, anyway, to prevent her death. In the end he ends up betraying his colleges, his friends, his family – all in the name of the power to save the woman he loves. Who dies anyway, from a broken heart. God I love this movie!

Mum’s Rating: 3.5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 7 / 5

Final Rating: 13.5

The Clone Wars – The Seige of Mandalore

Set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith – the Clone Wars tells a fascinating story of the war that ultimately destroyed not only the Republic but the Jedi as well. However for this Star Wars Lockdown Binge, we only watched the four last episodes – covering the siege of Mandalore and Order 66 – because it’s ‘unreasonable’ to expect people to wait the length of a seven season cartoon, before the next star wars film.

Mum’s Rating: 4 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 0 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4 / 5

Final Rating: 8

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Or as I like to call it, Star Wars : Episode 3.5 – Solo Eleven. Yes, ultimately at it’s heart Solo is is a heist film, coincidentally set in the Star Wars Universe. And I’m not saying that as a bad thing either, the Star Wars franchise needs to grow and expand if it’s to stay relevant, and trying out new forms of story and film is how you do that. The fact that it tells the backstory of one of science fiction’s most iconic characters, is really just the cherry on top of an excellent adrenaline filled heist flick. The reason it lost a point for me was that it was so adrenaline filled that watching it made me feel like I was having a panic attack – which does somewhat take away my enjoyment of the film.

Mum’s Rating: 3 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 5 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4 / 5

Final Rating: 12

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

While Solo is the Heist film of the Star Wars franchise, Rogue One is the war movie. I know, I know – technically all the Star Wars films are war movies, but you know what I mean. While the numbered films are grand and epic, with bright flashing laser swords and high crashing drama – this film is hard and gritty. While the other nine are flying up in their ex-wings trying to be the hero who blows up the deathstar – the people of this film are down on the ground sacrificing their lives so that those ex-wings even have the chance to play the hero.

Mum’s Rating: 5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 4 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 5 / 5

Final Rating: 14

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope

I’ll just say this now, to get it out of the way, I truly believe that the blowing up the Death Star scene is the worst part of not just this Star Wars film, but the entire franchise. It goes on much too long, and the only interesting development happens right at the end – Han’s arrival and Luke’s success. That being said, this isn’t a bad film, in fact I very much enjoyed the rest of it – just not enough to give it a 5.

Mum’s Rating: 4 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 3 / 5

Final Rating: 10

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

This is a good film, undoubtedly but I would hesitate to say that this is where Star Wars peaked. Although to be fair, Star Wars is such a large franchise – both in the legend and canon sense – that to say it peaks at any one place, no matter it’s individual merit – is the height of absurdity. Although, having said that, they never have quite topped the shock of the plot twist of Luke’s true Father, though goodness knows they’ve certainly tried.

Mum’s Rating: 4 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 5 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4 / 5

Final Rating: 13

Star Wars: Episode VI – The Return of the Jedi

This is my favorite of the three original films, and I’m not too proud to admit that the Ewoks play a large part of that. In fact I’m even going to be so bold as to say that they are the best part of the film overall. Or at least the parts that they occupy – the ground battle on the moon of Endor – are much better than some of the parts in which they did not – that is, Luke’s confrontation with the Emperor. I don’t mean to throw shade at something that so many people – including myself – enjoy, but when you’ve just come from Prequel Palpatine’s careful manipulations of not only his future student, but the entire Galaxy, Original Palpatine’s expectation for Luke to turn and join him because he hurt his friends, is almost ludicrous in its stupidity. That’s not how motivation works, Emperor, you used to know that.

Mum’s Rating: 4 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 5 / 5

Final Rating: 12

The Mandalorian

Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda. Baby YODA. BABY YODA! Oh yeah and there’s something about a Mandalorian but be honest…that’s not why we’re tuning in.

Mum’s Rating: 5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 5 / 5

Final Rating: 13

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens

Look down at those scores, now look back at me, now down at the scores again. I swear I did not go into The Force Awakens intending to give it such a high score. I still hold fast to the view that its plot is just a tad too similar to A New Hope’s to be coincidental. However having now watched both films very close together in a short amount of time, I have now amended this theory somewhat. While both films follow the same story beats, to an almost religious level – young hero/heroine from a backwards sand covered planet finds a droid with important information that she/he has to deliver to the Rebellion/Resistance so they can stop the Empire /First Order – the Force Awakens plot seems to stand as a superior version. Things that still don’t exactly make a great deal of sense to me in a New Hope – like why were the plans for the death star being sent to Obi Wan Kenobi specifically – seemed to go far more smoothly in this new version of the story. In the Force Awakens, Rey finds the droid by accident and then bumps into Finn determined to finish Poe Dameron’s last mission, again by chance. The resistance itself doesn’t give the call to adventure for these two heroes, unlike Luke and Kenobi. I mean I know you could say that Lea was under attack and she had to think fast – but Rouge One reveals that it was always the plan to give Kenobi the plans, so I’m not sure what the endgame was for that idea.

Mum’s Rating: 5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 8 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 5 / 5

Final Rating: 18

Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi

I will stand on my pedestal and say that this is absolutely the worst of the three sequel films. Of course, saying that is less of a condemnation than you’d think. I genially think that taken out of context, all three films are well made, good films that anyone would enjoy. However in the context of the Star Wars franchise, I don’t think it adds much – I did like the emphasis on the force being something that belongs to everyone rather than just the Jedi, but that was completely disregarded in the next film so it didn’t really matter .

Mum’s Rating: 4.5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4 / 5

Final Rating: 11.5

Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker

I liked this film. It was a good fun film, its story was exciting and it didn’t rely on just copying the plot from the originals like the first two sequel films did. Also – and I know many people may disagree with me on this – but I liked where the characters ended up in their respective arcs. That being said, I’d be lying if I claimed the addition of Palpatine in this film didn’t feel a bit tacked on to the overall sequel trilogy’s story.

Mum’s Rating: 5 / 5

Dad’s Rating: 3 / 5

Wee Lassie’s Rating: 4 / 5

Final Rating: 12

In the Race for which is the superior Star Wars property – that I was able to make the others watch – we have:

In the rear The Clone Wars, limping along with an 8, from two people that enjoyed it but didn’t love it.

Barely two points ahead we can spot Episode IV: A New Hope, lagging with a 10.

Just a step beyond that you can see Attack of the Clones with a proudly won 11, and the only interesting love story in all of new canon. With the Last Jedi, only a hair’s breath in front with an 11.5.

Next up we have the shocking trio of Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker and Solo: A Star wars Story, each sporting a shinny new 12 to their name.

Baby Yoda and his Mandalorian guardian are making good time; alongside Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back with their ratings of 13. Revenge of the Sith, not too far in front with it’s hard fought for 13.5.

In joint second place, Rouge One: A Star Wars Story and Episode I: The Phantom Menace prove that the sacrifices have all been worth it with their solid ratings of 14.

And finally leading the way, in a shocking twist of fate to most Star Wars fans – Episode VII: The Force Awakens is winning this race, with an astounding rating of 18.

Do you agree with my parents and I’s ratings, would you have chosen differently? If so, drop me line down in the comments – Star Wars opinions are as varied as its fans and each deserves a voice. If you’ve enjoyed this look into the deep sense of obsessive fandom and boredom that provoked this binge during Lockdown, remember to follow the Wee Blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Facebook and Goodreads. And sign up for The Wee Mailing List to receive all new content. Until next time Wee Readers, have a bonny day and may the force be with you.

The Wee Writing Lassie and the Folklore of the Nine Sacred Woods

Into the Cauldron

The Sacred Woods Go

Burn them fast

And burn them slow.

Is it a poem? Is it a limerick? No, Wee Readers, it is a spell. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you should remember that I am a vegan, in fact I was raised vegan from the age of two. How is this relevant to the current post, well, it’s not really – it’s just to remind you that I come from a slightly none traditional family. Which is why it should be less surprising when I say that we celebrated this May Day by performing a bit of magic. That is burning the nine sacred woods in the Beltane Bonfire. Well, what we did wasn’t really a bonfire per say, more like a small fire in a cauldron – but the intent still remains the same. We set fire to sticks from the nine sacred woods – in theory, they’re very difficult to find and some of them are toxic, so mostly we burned sticks that we were drawn to pick up – saying a blessing on to the world with each one we set a flame. Because it really felt like it needed it. The sacred woods consist of the first nine woods of the Celtic Tree Calendar, they are listed below in no particular order – along with some of the folklore associated with them.

9. Ash

Myth in its fibre, wood made word, the fissured bark

of Yggdrasil, world-tree, tree of Ask – the first man

tree of manna, foe feller, child healer, known by eye & fingertip

Excerpt from Ash Tree by Chris Poundwhite

Traditionally the Ash Tree represents the mother of the world. In ancient Norse Mythology the world tree Yggdrasil – that great holy tree that connected all the realms both mortal and otherwise was a an ash tree. In fact mortal Norse warriors would sometimes make their spears from ash, and they were referred to as Aescling or ‘Men of Ash’.

8. Willow

Know ye the willow tree

Whose gray leaves quiver,

Whispering gloomily

To yon pale river,

Lady, at even tide

Wander not near it,

They say its branches hide

A sad, lost Spirit?

Excerpt from The Willow-Tree by William Makepeace Thackeray

In the ancient druid stories the universe, mankind and everything was hatched from two scarlet eggs hidden within the willow tree. One egg formed the sun and from the other came the Earth – which begs the question where was the Willow Tree. This was recreated in the seasonal festival of Beltane using painted eggs. This would later be hijacked by Christians, for the holiday Easter. So just remember, that come Easter Weekend when you’re rolling your brightly colored chicken fetus down a hill, you’re performing an ancient Druid ritual.

7. Hawthorn

My palms rest

Upon the blackened trunk

Of a melancholy hawthorn

It’s choked wood crumbling

Into dust

Falling between my fingers

Extract of Burning Hawthorn by Lotus

In Ireland the Hawthorn tree is known as the fairy tree, although take care to call it something else as it is disrespectful to mention the fairies by name. Because of this connection to the little folk it is considered extremely bad luck to cut down a hawthorn tree. So much so that in 1999 work on the main road from Limerick to Galaway was interrupted because a Hawthorn stood in the way. Wish the owners of the woods near my house shared such beliefs – sometimes I feel there won’t be a forest left by the time this lock-down ends.

6. Birch

When I see birches bend to left and right

Across the lines of straighter darker trees,

I like to think some boy’s been swinging them.

But swinging doesn’t bend them down to stay

As ice-storms do.

Extract from Birches by Robert Frost

In Celtic mythology Birch represented renewal and purification – and it was celebrated on Samhain (the holiday that would later become Halloween) which was the beginning of the Celtic New year. It also, as you might have guessed is connected to Beltane – a festival known in more modern times as May Day. Ritual fires were made of birch and oak, and Birch Trees were often made into living May poles.

5. Rowan

rowan tree with berries in summer sunny day

Oh rowan tree, oh rowan tree,

Thou’lt aye be dear to me,

Entwined thou art wi many ties,

O’hame and infancy.

Thy leaves were aye the first o’spring,

Thy flow’rs the simmer’s pride;

There was nae sic a bonny tree

In a’ the countrieside

Oh rowan tree!

Extract from The Rowan Tree by Lady Nairne

In Greek mythology it was said that the Rowan trees sprung from the fallen feathers of the eagle that had been sent to recover the cup of the Goddess Hebe. However it was attacked by demons before it could manage. Thus the Rowan Tree’s leaves are shaped like feathers and their berries are as red as blood. We can see great significance in Norse Mythology as well, where we see a rowan was transformed into the first woman – the first man having come from an Ash. As well as in British Folklore, where the Rowan is meant to protect against witchcraft and enchantment.

4. Holly

But the Hue of his every feture.

Stunned them as could be seen,

Not only was this creature

Colossal, he was bright Green

No spear to thrust, no shield against the shock of battle,

But in one hand a solitary branch of Holly

That shows greenest when all the groves are leafless.

Extract from ‘Sir Gawain and the Green Night’, author unknown

In Celtic legend the Holly King would battle the Oak King at the changing of the seasons. During Winter Solstice, the Oak King would arise triumphed – there after he reigns upon the earth, until the Summer Solstice where upon the two battle again. And this time it is the Holly King who defeats his opponent. And on and on, the cycle of the seasons go.

3. Alder

Are you weary, alder tree,

in this, the age of rain?

From your branches

droop clots of lichen

like fairy lungs. All week,

Squalls, tattered mists:

alder, who unfolded

before the receding glaciers

Extract from Alder by Kathleen Jamie

In Irish Folklore it is generally considered bad luck to pass an alder tree on your journey. The Alder tree was the tree of the God Bran – who you will remember if you’ve been following me, that I mentioned in this earlier post – along with Odin, Apollo and King Arthur. It was also associated with the Goddess of spinning, because it was a source for strong colored dye. In Magical belief Alder reminds us of the need to blend strength and courage with generosity of spirit and compassion.

2. Oak

A mighty wind blew night and day

It stole the oak tree’s leaves away

Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark

Until the oak was tired and stark.

But still the oak tree held its ground.

While other trees fell all around

The Weary Wind gave up and spoke.

How can you still be standing oak?

Excerpt from The Oak Tree by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

Throughout the world’s cultures the Oak tree has been venerated, often as the symbol of the greatest god in the pantheon. Gods such as Zeus, Jupiter, Dagda, Perun and Thor – called the Oak tree their own. Many Ancient kings would imply they were personifications of these gods by wearing crowns of oak leaf during times of victory – and even today, the oak leaf remains a symbol of military prowess.

1. Hazel

In the Beginning Love satisfies us.

When Love first spoke to me of love –

How I laughed at her in return!

But then she made me like the hazel trees,

Which blossom early season of darkness,

And bear fruit slowly.

The Hazel Trees by Hadewijch of Antwerp

The Hazel Tree has been venerated since the days of the Druids’ power, maybe even longer than that. There is an old ancient tale – repeated in varying forms across ancient Britain, of nine sacred hazel trees that grew around a pool. In the pool swam Salmon (who were honored by Druids), when the nuts fell from the trees, the Salmon would leap up and eat them – and from those nuts the salmon would absorbed the tree’s wisdom. I’ve mentioned the hazel nut before, in my previous post – because not only does it provide you with great wisdom, but a good boost to your immune system as well.

If you’ve enjoyed this foray into the folklore of the nine sacred woods, don’t forget to follow the wee blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter, Instagram, GoodReads, Tumblr, Pinterest and Facebook. And follow The Wee Mailing List, for all new content. Also check out Trees for Life – where most of this folklore information came from, it’s a fascinating site for anyone interested in the folklore of trees. Remember if come next May Day you decide to burn the nine sacred woods in your own Beltane celebration, make sure to exercise proper fire safety – you will be working with open (if not very large) flames. I also advise eating something afterwards, I always feel light and giddily shaky after burning the wood and food in the belly is a good way to ground yourself, or so I’ve been told. If you found any inaccuracies in what I’ve said here today, don’t hesitate to mention them down below in the comments. I love to be corrected, it’s how we grow. Until next time Wee Readers, make sure to get plenty of Sunshine, stay safe and have a bonny day.

The Wee Lassie’s Top Ten Foods that keep your Immune System Healthy

If you’ve been following my blog for a while – hi original wee readers, you know who you are – you should know that I am a Vegan. In fact my whole family are vegans. I was raised vegan from the age of two. But what you may not have guessed is that we are mega-vegans – don’t google that I made it up on the spot. Some of us don’t eat gluten, we all drink major green smoothies and of course all our food is organic. We even grow our own greens that we blend up and eat in our green smoothies. Yes, we’re those kind of people – and that is awesome, particularly right now during a pandemic when health is on absolutely everyone’s minds. Wow there’s no way that didn’t come off as bragging…anyway, here are the top ten foods that keep your immune system healthy.

10. Carrots

Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

For a while these were very hard to get at Tesco, which I view as a positive thing for our society, seeing how healthy carrots actually are for you. A single carrot has 12,028 units of Vitamin A -; Vitamin C; B Vitamins; Vitamin E and the minerals of iron, Zinc and Copper – all of which help keep the immune system up and running for cold and flue season, or the odd pandemic.

9. Broccoli

Photo by Buenosia Carol on Pexels.com

Come on, part of you must have known Broccoli would be on this list eventually – it’s no one’s favorite vegetable, but we all know its good for us. This green veg is high in lutein, a compound antioxidant, and sulforaphane. Along with nutrients such as magnesium, phosphorus, Zinc and iron.All of which, as you may have guessed help keep us healthy.

8. Onions

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

My god do I love onions, which is a good thing because not only are my family’s store cupboards just filled with the things, but they are mega good for the immune system. Onions are filled with selenium, sulfur compounds, Zinc, and vitamin C. Also, they are an excellent source of quercetin. They are also an antioxidant which have antiviral properties, and they also have histamine regulating effects.

7. Garlic

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Garlic is a magic food. Not only can it keep away the bite of Dracula, but it’s a natural antibiotic. I’ve been eating it raw before every meal, and my cough’s almost gone. Of course, eating raw garlic isn’t for everyone – it’s barely for me – but never fear, there’s no ends of the dishes Garlic can be put into. Soups, sauces, pies – you name it, it’ll be made much better with a dash of Garlic.

6. Red Cabbage

Photo by Chokniti Khongchum on Pexels.com

Cabbage is great; it boosts the immune system, fights inflammation and arthritis; makes healthy bones and reduces risk of Osteoporosis. It also helps fight chronic diseases and encourages a healthy gut. And it tastes delicious with vinegar.

5. Pears

Photo by Wendy Wei on Pexels.com

As juicy when ripe as they are hard when not, pears are rich in flavonoid antioxidants which help fight inflammation and may decrease your risk of diseases.

4. Nuts

Photo by Marta Branco on Pexels.com

Ages past Brazil nuts we’re considered one of the nine sacred nuts. They brought wisdom to those that ate them. Today they can help your body prepare for any battles ahead. Nuts are a great source of zinc, along with selenium which is particularly found in Brazil nuts, but all nuts will boost your immune system.

2. Nettles

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Nettles, absolutely one of the ingredients to professor Snape’s most potent potions. These stinging weeds are high in Vitamins A,C,K and B; Minerals like Calcium and iron; Healthy Fats; Polyphenols, Amino acids and Pigments like Beta-carotene, or luteoxanthin. They have been known to reduce inflammation; help hay fever and enlarged prostate symptoms, along with high blood pressure and blood sugar control.

However, one of the best things about Nettles is how available they are; they literally grow everywhere, so much so that we’ve labeled them as weeds all across the western world. Odds are likely they’re even growing somewhere close to you right now. Word to the wise though, if you’re picking them yourself wear gloves and avoid nettles with flowers, if they’ve got flowers they’re no good and should be left alone. As for the shops, while I have never encountered fresh nettles – nettle tea is delicious, and just as immune system boosting as the fresh stuff. Plus, and I don’t know if this is an official result of such tea, but I always find it calms me right down after I’ve had a bout of anxiety.

1. Avocados

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

Avocados are a super food, flat out just a super food, with a capital S. If you’ve been following my blog you may have heard me speak about these amazing things before – they certainly fit well in any kind of smoothie. In fact it’s amazing how versatile they are – avocados blended with coco make a lovely chocolate mousse. However I personally love them in Guacamole, since it’s so easy to make and combines other immune system boosting food, like Garlic – but there are hundreds of other different uses for them, whether you’re spreading them mashed on toast, or just chopping them into your salad. What makes this versatility so exciting – besides the taste that is – is just how rich in nutrients the Avocado is.

They contain Vitamins K, C, B5, B6, A, B1, B2, and B3; along with nutrients like Folate, Potassium, magnesium, maganeses, copper, iron, zinc, and phosphorous. Each Avocado also contains 160 calories, 2 grams of protein, 15 grams of healthy fats, 9 grams of Carbs and 7 of fiber. Making them, the ultimate immune boosting food.

If you’ve enjoyed this interesting look into the nutrients of some of the world’s best food, don’t forget to follow the wee blog, if you haven’t already. Also don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, Tumblr, Facebook, and Pinterest. And check out the Wee Mailing List – for all new content from the Wee Archives. Until next time Wee Readers, stay safe, stay healthy, and have a bonny day.

My Coronavirus Soundtrack

This Coronavirus outbreak, and the subsequent madness of the whole god damn world, has left me feeling quite depressed. So to cheer myself up I began formulating a playlist of happy songs – as you do. But for a while that’s all it was, just a thing for myself, and it wasn’t until my mother asked if I was going to blog it, that a far more inventive idea came to me. Why just make a playlist that cheers me up about the coronavirus, when I could make an entire soundtrack for the bloody thing. So here before you, is the finished work – note, this is just a bit of fun and not to be taken as a serious account of the state of the world. We get enough of that from the news and (if you’re like me) Twitter, and while this outbreak is a serious thing, sometimes we just need to laugh.

1. Prologue – this isn’t the first crisis we’ve faced

2. The Outbreak Begins

The First Official cases are reported across the world

3. And so we took to Twitter

Honestly this is the first time in my life I’m checking Twitter several times a day.

4. Trying to Understand why this is happening

5. Wash your hands for 20 seconds

6. The Bog-roll Crisis

I didn’t even have to stretch for this one

7. More Panic Buying…I mean what were people thinking?

8. #CorbynMustStay

Oh Jeremy Corbyn, we almost had a socialist Prime Minister. This one may be slightly localized to Great Britain – but this is a British Blog, (at least for now) so what can you expect?

9. Schools Close for Most

If you think this is an inappropriate song, you should see the one I almost put here.

10. The March of the Covidiots: or this is not a song that should fit so well this late in the timeline of a Pandemic

11. And so the Army was called in

Well, the police anyway.

12. Quarantine Life

Well, guess we can’t leave our houses now.

13. Disney + released

If they didn’t want the comparison, they shouldn’t have bought the franchise.

14. And so the Great Binge watch of 2020 began…

Yes, it’s just the Simpsons theme…why? What are you watching?

15. Clap for the NHS, and Stay Home

Being serious here people, the NHS (and other healthcare systems around the world) are already overworked – don’t overwhelm them, stay at home and watch Friends.

16. Coming out of Lockdown

Speaks for itself really.

17. And Hopefully we’re all still…

If this playlist offered you any joy during these dark days don’t forget to follow the Wee blog, if you haven’t already. Also don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and Goodreads. Also check out The Wee Mailing List, for all new content. Keep safe, Wee Readers, and don’t forget to laugh whenever you can – it’s good for the soul. So, until next time, have a bonny day.

Memories of a 2019 GoodReads Challenge: or, the top ten books to read while you’re social distancing

What ho Wee Readers, how are you all doing? Are you trapped at home in quarantine? Or practicing social distancing to protect yourself and or your family? Yeah, my Mum’s got a damaged lung, so I’m right there with you. At times like these the world can seem a terrifying place, almost overwhelmingly so – and I find the best cure for such depressing thoughts, can be found in the pages of a good book.

Wow, that was a far more depressing opening than I thought it would be. Anyway, if you’ve been following my Goodreads account, then you’ll know that I really enjoy their Reading Challenge. At the beginning of 2020, I challenged myself to read a hundred books, which is quite a step up from the thirty I read in 2019. I’m well on my way to completing this year’s challenge, so I’d just thought I’d take a look back at my favorite reads of last year, to try and forget about this year.

10. Finding Serenity: Anti-Heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon’s Firefly

This is a collection of essays about the cancelled tv show Firefly, one of two I read over the course of 2019 – though by far this is the superior volume. Mainly because unlike its sequel, it didn’t go on and on about how not having aliens in it made Firefly the greatest sci-fi show ever to exist. Or sneering at the notion that anyone would ever put an alien in their space fiction, let alone actually believe in life on other planets. Which, as someone who is patiently waiting for the mother-ship to return, I find slightly offensive. Anyway, you won’t find any of that nonsense in this book – at least, none that I can remember.

9. Jeff Wayne’s The War of the Worlds: The Musical Drama

So…Michael Sheen’s voice…wow. Anyway, back on topic…I started this post quite a while ago, and then got pulled away to write another essay (I know I’ve said that before, but it’s not just an excuse, it really is what I’ve been doing all this time) and during that interval the world kind of…exploded. Basically, we somehow woke up one day and found ourselves living in a dystopian novel, which is…well…bad whatever, but if it was going to happen, why couldn’t it be ‘The War of the Worlds’ instead? Look I’m not trying to be crass here, I’m well aware how terrible the coronavirus, the mass panic buying of loo roll…for some unexplained reason…and well everything the British government has been doing lately, is. All I’m saying is that I would rather watch Boris Johnson be disintegrated by a Martian, than worry about the bloody coronavirus.

8. Coffee at Luke’s: An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest Edited by Jennifer Cruise

So, this is a thing. Rather like the first book on this list, this is a collection of essays; except this time on the topic of Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls is one of those shows in which I have a… complicated relationship with. On the one hand I loved the original show, and yet like many of you out there I found the revival lacking in the charm that made the original so appealing. Also, the characters were all awful, and by that, I mean they were all awful people. Where they like that in the original, I don’t remember that. Still the book is well worth a look, even for the most disappointed of Gilmore Girls fans, and I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys digging deeper into their favorite shows.

7. The Silmarillion by J.R.R Tolkien.

J.R.R. Tolkien’s least enjoyable book…there I said it. I’m of two minds about this book, on the one hand nowhere else is J.R.R. Tolkien’s genius most evident, and yet the only way to describe how I manged to finish this is: with great difficulty. Whether or not you enjoy this book really depends on how much you’re invested in the Elves as a people – for you see The Silmarillion is not just the history of Middle-Earth, it’s the History of Middle-Earth as told by the ruling class of Elves. It’s why we never really get a look into the other races unless they’ve had direct contact with the elves. Notice how it’s only the men who live under the Elves sovereignty who are in anyway explored in a meaningful way. This isn’t the story of Middle-earth but rather how the elves perceive it. And nowhere is this more apparent than the story of the petty Dwarves. The petty dwarves were a diminutive race that lived in the continent of Beleriand (the north most tip of middle-earth) during the first age (or at least round about that time, Middle-earth calendars are a lot less straightforward than you’d think). In fact, they were the first people to live in Beleriand, even before the elves – and what did the elves do when they got there? Come on, we all live in a post-colonist world, you know what they did. That’s right, they massacred them…hunted them for sport actually. Claiming all the while that they thought they were animals. While they do stop doing this once they meet the larger dwarves, and realize the creatures they were gleefully slaughtering – which had worn clothes, and held weapons – were not in fact a strange kind of boar. However, they don’t actually seem to feel guilty about what they’d done. In fact, the text itself implies that the petty dwarves had it coming, because they were…unpleasant, and didn’t like anyone. My Valar of the Forge and Earth, why would a people that have been hunted to near extinction, and smeared in the history books, not have a sunny disposition? Madness, don’t they know that the feelings of their murders come first above all things.

Yes, I am a Tolkien nerd, why do you ask?

6. Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel by Daniel Jose Older

They should have let the cooking robot kill Ben Solo. Out of context that sentence sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it? But trust me, after you read this book, you’ll know what I mean. Anyway, getting down to business. Despite my first impressions of the film I can freely admit that ‘Solo’ is by far and away probably one the weaker members of the Star Wars franchise. Many people have tried to pinpoint the exact reason for this – raging from the sensible to the outright ludicrous – but I have come to the conclusion that ultimately, it was the pacing that let Solo down. Namely, it was originally supposed to be three films, but got squished into one for…some reason…and you can really tell. Despite this, the film had many positive qualities, not least among which was being the only film to note the cruelty many heroes casually throw at droids – I mean it didn’t do it well, but at least it mentioned it. Last Shot is everything Solo should have been: it explores Han Solo’s past but only so much as it pertains to the story, and it gives characters that had previously been killed off before they could do anything more than snark a chance to shine. And most of all, droid abuse and activism was made a central theme and story plot, rather than just something to be giggled at.

5. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

The book is better than the show. Yeah, I’ll say it, the show was needlessly dark and depressing and… that second season, oh my god, did I hate that second season. I couldn’t even watch it to the end. Look I know both the book and the show cover heavy topics that need to be taken seriously, like abuse, possible murder and body issues, but somehow the book was able to do that without making every single character completely unlikable. I mean what was with that story-line of Madeline cheating on Ed? She didn’t need more drama in her story, her book story-line was dramatic enough and unique. It wasn’t just another copy and paste affair arch. In conclusion, read the book and skip the show.

4. Revenge of the Sith by Mathew Stover

I love this book. I’ve read it more than once, more than thrice really, and each time it just gets better. A common trend when praising this book, is to imply that it vastly improves upon the original film. However, I’m not going to say that, because quite frankly not only is that kind of petty prequel hate repugnant to me in every way but, I found nothing to hate in the original film. In fact, it’s one of my favourites. What I will say is Mathew Stover’s take on the fall of Anakin Skywalker and the rise of Darth Vader is interesting and new, not better just different – but I found his description of the force, particularly how Obi-Wan experiences it, the most fascinating I’ve ever encountered in any Star Was franchise media, films included.

3. Snape: A definitive Reading by Lorrie Kim

Awesome, just awesome. Severus Snape is the essential base-breaking character. You either love him or loathe him, there doesn’t seem to be any neutral ground on this issue, but that doesn’t matter because Snape a Definitive Reading is the book for both sides of the argument. Whether you love him and want a conformation of why he is so awesome, or you absolutely hate him, but want an insight into what all your crazy friends see in him, this is the book for you.

2. Room by Emma Donoghue

I love this book. I was so, so about the film – since as a visual medium it lost much of the magic that was Jack’s misunderstanding about his situation in the beginning of the story – but the book was fantastic. Now I’m assuming, Wee Readers, that each of you fall into one of two categories. Either you’ve already read this book/watched the film, and know each of the ins and outs of the story, and therefore don’t need me to tell you what you already know; or you have no idea what I’m even talking about. In which case I don’t want to ruin the story for you. So I’ll just say this, if you’re stuck at home at this strange time, pick up a kindle or audible version of this book, sit back and enjoy.

1. The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair

Speaking of good books to read while you’re waiting out the coronavirus. This is, and I don’t think I’m overstating this, the best book published in 2019, hands down. If you’ve been following my blog for a while – hello early Wee Readers – you’ll remember I interviewed the author herself a few months back. If you’re interested go check that out here, or Ailish’s own blog here. There now the plugging is done, onto the real talk of the book.  Without giving away the end – because as we all know, only gypes give out spoilers on the internet – this a book that will not end how you think it will. Whether you are a fan of sweeping Romance, accurate Historical Fiction, Heroines that aren’t a size two, or like me an accurate portrayal of a Scottish accent… this is the book for you. Trust me, Wee Readers, you will not be thinking about the coronavirus while you’re reading this book. Seriously go out and buy this book.

If this wee post has distracted you at all from the ongoing dystopian narrative, we’ve all somehow found ourselves living through, then don’t forget to follow the wee blog if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter – where I am hilarious – Facebook, Pinterest, GoodReads, Tumblr and Instagram. Also check out my Wee Mailing List ,for brand new content. Until next time my Wee Readers, have a bonny day.

The Sunshine Blogger Award…and it’s all mine!!!!!

What ho, Wee Readers! Yes it’s happened, I’ve gotten an award. Finally some acknowledgment on how awesome I am. I’d just like to thank my Mum and my Dad for Home Educating me, and my brother for providing an intellectual sparing partner, and all the friends who had the common sense not to get in my way during my rise to the top. But most of all I’d like to thank Autumn from Mischief and Mjolnir who is the wonderful blogger who nominated me. Seriously go check out and follow her amazing blog right now, or I shall think much less of you from this day onwards.

Okay so acknowledments over, what is the Sunshine Blogger Award?

The Sunshine Blogger Award is an award given to creative, positive and cheerful bloggers by their peers as a token of appreciation and admiration. (Which considering some of my more depressing blogs, I’m a little shocked I got nominated for. Happy, but a little surprised.)

The Rules

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to him/her. (Check)
  2. Answer 11 questions provided by the blogger who nominated you. (Double Check)
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions. (Mwahhahaha! *cough* I mean, sensible laugh that’s not worrying to my nominees at all.)
  4. Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  5. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your blog post.

My Questions

  • What would be your dream job?

A published novelist

  • What big thing would you love to do if you had the means?

Buy the Woods and the Loch by my house.

  • If a genie gave you three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wish Number One:  to have Mum’s health back.

Wish Number Two: to have my books published and successful

Wish Number Three: to be able to watch the Mandalorian without paying for it (damn you Disney and your malicious ability to provide excellence).

  • If you had the opportunity to change the world, how would you do it?

Change Trump into a wooden doll.

  • What would you do with a million dollars?

*cracks knuckles* Buy a plane and travel round the world. Buy a castle. Buy a mansion in Italy. Buy tickets to Hamilton and Come from Away. There’s too much to choose! Darn, am I only suppose to pick one, then fine…pay my taxes, and according to JK Rowling become a saint.

  • What would you name your pet dragon?

As I am a firm believer of the inverse law of pet naming – which states that the more fierce the pet, the cuter the name, and vice versa – I here by name my pet dragon: Mr. Tickles.

  • Would you rather time travel to the past or to the future? Why?

Hmm, that’s a hard question, indeed. I do so love history, but there’s the issue of what if you kill your grandparents accidentally. You could stop yourself from being born. And believe me, considering my currently living grandparents, it would be a very hard thing not to kill them, should I ever encounter them in the past. Yet if I go any further than that I’m sure to be hung as a witch. So, it must be to the future I go. Yet even that has its dangers, for if you see what’s going to happen to you, or the world in the future – once you’re home how will you ever be sure that you’re not undoing that timeline with your every action? So if I were to time travel at all, it must be to the future, and it must be a one way trip.

  • What word would your friends use to describe you?

Bubbly

  • What’s your favouratie candy?

Fox’s Glacier Mints

  • What’s your favorite song?

It changes daily – today it is Word Up by The BossHoss, but who knows what it’ll be tomorrow.

  • What are the greatest gifts God has given you this year?

While I’m not particularly religious, so probably wouldn’t phrase it like that,  I can understand when a good thing has happened to me – here are some of them:

  1. My mum coming home from the hospital.
  2. Getting a 73 on my last assignment, when I’d been certain I’d failed it.
  3. Getting my newest short story published – despite many people turning their noses up at the Scots’ dialect of the characters.
  4. Just how many people have been reading and enjoying my blog.

My Nominees’ Questions

  1. Who is your favorite author?
  2. If you could rule one of these five fictional/mythical lands: the Galaxy of Star Wars, King Arthur’s Britain, Westeros, Middle-Earth or Discworld – which one would it be and why?
  3. If you had the powers of a god, what would you do with them?
  4. Which famous historical figure would you have round to dinner?
  5. You’ve been abducted by aliens, and they demand that you take them to your leader – who do you take them to?
  6. If there was a film made of your life story, which famous actor would you want to play you?
  7. If you were trapped in a historical time (presumably your time machine has malfunctioned) what period would you be most likely to survive in?
  8. What is your favorite kind of weather and why?
  9. Chocolate or Caramel?
  10. If you could turn into any mythical creature, which one would it be?
  11. Who are you most grateful to in your life?

The Nominees

Linda Gukicova at Some Photoblog

moviefanman at Movie Fan Man: Cinema Connoisseur

Sophia Ismaa

Eunice C. English at My Parkinson’s Diary

Mia Winhertt at A struggling Author – My Journey with You

JoAnna at Anything is possible

Lolsys Library

amymayj at Sassy Cat Lady

Widdershims at Widdershim Worlds

joanne the geek

Whitneyibeblog at Whitney Ibe Blog!…Always with You

If you’ve enjoyed this touting of my own horn, don’t forget to follow the wee blog if you haven’t already. You can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr and Goodreads. Also check out Mischief and Mjolnir, and my Nominees’ blogs – they’re really worth a check out. Until next time, My Wee Readers, have a bonny day.