Return of the Top Ten Evil Songs + 3, I added for the fun of it

After much deliberation and investigation – ha, that rhymes – through your, my Wee Readers, many suggestions I have finally compiled the worst of the worst. Yes, that’s right my wee readers this is the Return of the Top Ten Evil Songs – this time with added runner ups, that I added just for the fun of it . So without anymore delay may I present your selections for the Top Ten Evil Songs of 2019.

10. Blue (Da-Ba-Dee)

Many Thanks to Lynn Blair ( https://inkedautist.wordpress.com/ ) for recommending this song. Blue ( Da-Ba-Dee) is a song by an Italian group, Eiffel 65. Written by lead singer Jeffrey Jey, keyboardist Maurizio Lobina and producer Massimo Gabutti – the music video of the song depicts aliens trying to abduct Jeffrey Jey while the other members of Eiffel 65 try to stop them. Now if it sounds like I’ve just recently learned all that just minutes before I started writing, that’s because I did. I knew nothing about this song before I started researching for this post, other than the fact that it was so catchy that I literally had to turn it off mid-way through or it would be stuck in my head all day.

9. Supercalifragilitexpalidocious

Big shout out to Widdershins ( https://widdershinsfirst.com/ ) for recommending this next Evil Song. The first known record of the word ‘supercalifragilisticexpialialidocious’ – at least according to Wikipedia and The Oxford English Dictionary – was found in a column by Helen Herman in the Syracuse University Daily Orange, dated March 10th, 1931. Although it was actually spelled ‘supercaliflawjalisticexpialadoshus’. However the writers of the song – the Sherman Brothers – claimed that they made the word up, and that they based it on memories of creating double-talk words as kids. The original word was also said to mean ‘all that is grand, great, glorious, splendid, superb, wonderful’ which is a change from the movie where it’s implied that it’s a word to use when you don’t have anything else to say. Whatever the case this tune will stick in your head to the day you die, also penguins…we never can forget the penguins.

8. Hips Don’t Lie

Here’s to masercot ( https://morepotatoes.com/ ) for this evil recommendation. Written by no less than six people – Wyclef Jean, Jerry ‘Wonder’ Dupllessis, Omar Alfanno, LaTavia Parker, Vinay Rao, and of course Shakira herself -and first performed by Colombian Singer Shakira in 2006, ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ is an infectious song, with such catchy and lets face it slightly repetitive lyrics that you won’t be able to get out of your brain even if you were to use an ice-cream scoop to do the bloody work for you. Wow…that, eh, that got very dark there. Anyway, Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie…good song, can’t get it out of your head. Moving on now, before I end up creeping you all out.

7. The lemanade song

Big shout out to Em @ The Geeky Jock ( https://kinesiologic.wordpress.com/ ) the Wee Reader who introduced me to this wonderfully catchy/evil Song. The Lemonade Song (sometimes referred to as the Duck song) was first uploaded to YouTube by Bryant Oden on January 21st 2009 as a lyric video. In March 23rd – of the same year, I’m assuming, but please correct me if I’m wrong – the song was made into an animated short by YouTuber Forrest Whaley. 88 million views later and by April 21st the song is now on iTunes for $.99. Wow, what a Duck can do in just four months.

6. Orange and Lemons

Many thanks to ‘davidjhopcroft’ ( https://davidhopcroft.wordpress.com/ ) who recommended this song to me in my last post. Oranges and Lemons is both a traditional English nursery rhyme and a playground singing game. It refers to the bells of the churches in or near London. Of course there have been many speculations as to its hidden deeper meaning. For instance some have speculated that it might be alluding to child sacrifice; or public executions; or even the marital difficulties of one Henry VIII. Now before you dismiss these theories as ludicrous, or possibly from the minds of paranoid conspiracy theorists, just remember this – Ring Around the Rosies is about the Black Death. So let’s not pretend that children’s songs having disturbing origins is in anyway a new thing.

5. The Pink Panther Theme Song

A big whoop to ‘da-AL’ ( https://happinessbetweentails.com/ ) for recommending this Masterpiece of an Evil Song. First composed for the 1963 film ‘The Pink Panther’ this smooth catchy, Jazz tune was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Score at the 37th Academy Awards. However it was robbed – robbed I tell you – by the Sherman Brothers for their soundtrack of Mary Poppins. Huh, this is the second time the Sherman Brothers have been mentioned in relation to an ‘evil’ song. Coincidence? Yes, absolutely – but what if it wasn’t?

4. A Million Dreams

Many cookies and thanks to ‘debsdialogue’ ( https://debsdialogue.com/ ) for reminding me of this fabulous song. Originally composed for the 2017 musical film The Greatest Showman, and performed by Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams; it’s also been covered by several artists including Susan Boyle and Michael Ball on Boyle’s 2019 album, Ten. One of the newer contenders on this list – what with one of main criteria of an ‘evil’ song being memorability, they tend to stick around in the collective consciousness far longer than there more forgettable counterparts. Only time will tell whether ‘A Million Dreams’ will also have this staying power, though considering how many times I’ve banged my head on the wall to get it to leave, I think it’s chances are good.

3. Fat Bottomed Girls

Another Big shutout to ‘masercot’ ( https://morepotatoes.com/ ) for this second suggestion of an evil song. Recorded in 1978 and first released in 13th October that year and written by lead guitarist Brian May. Now remember when I call a song ‘evil’ I don’t usually mean evil as in ‘evil laugh’ evil – I could never say that about a Queen Song. What I mean rather that it’s a song that sticks in your head no matter how much you shake it, or how many times you wack yourself in the face. And there’s rarely no other song that fits that description better than Fat Bottomed Girls. Even if sometimes we wish it otherwise.

2. A small world after All

Big Thanks to ‘dkatiepowellart’ ( https://dkatiepowellart.com/ ) for recommending this…heinous song to yours truly. Written by the Sherman bothers – oh look there they are again – for the Disneyland ride ‘It’s a Small World’, probably sometime in 1966 since that’s when the park opened – ‘A Small World after All’ is one the most, annoying songs in all of existence. In fact the only reason it didn’t make it onto my last list, was because at the time it seemed a little obvious. But looking back now, I can see that was a mistake – I mean, if you’re going to be discussing ‘evil’ songs, this one should be at the top of your list. After all, according to Robert J. Sherman – Robert B. Sherman’s youngest son – this song is the single most-performed and translated piece of music in the world.

Runners up

And now just for a special treat before I reveal the winner of the most evil song of 2019 – let’s take a minute to mention those songs that while nobody has nominated, I’ve not been able to get out of my head for the past few weeks.

Runner up Number 3. Mama Mia

First recorded in 1975 by the band ABBA, ‘Mama Mia’ was the title song of the hit Broadway Musical by the same name. I chose the film’s version of the song – staring Meryl Streep – because, not only is it one of the funniest versions – try and not laugh at those hippy clothes, I dare you – but its also the one that made me realize that I know every single word to that song. That doesn’t often happen to me, a tune maybe, but often even the most ‘evil’ of songs have their lyrics forgotten in my brain, but not this one. *throws hands in air* Yeah! What? Too sarcastic?

Runner Up Number 2. Dogtanian Intro

The show Dogtanian and the ThreeMuskehounds is a bit before my time – something you could have said for a lot of songs on my previous list as well – but my Mum always brings it up whenever I mention writing one of these ‘evil’ song lists, and I’ve got to admit she has a point. This is a really catchy theme song. Almost, like it’s latching on to the inside of your brain. Oh No. Back, Back I say to the depths of Hell, whence you have come foul song!

Runner up 1. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song

‘Yo Home to Bel-Air’ or as the rest of us know it as ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme tune’ was written by the aforementioned tv-show’s executive producer, Quincy Jones and Performed by Actor and Star Will Smith, under his stage name ‘The Fresh Prince. Smith also wrote the lyrics. In this Wee Writing Lassie’s opinion, this is one of the most catchiest/ memorable theme tunes of all time. What else is there to say except ‘In West Philadelphia born and raised on a playground is where I spend most of my days…’

1. Baby Shark

And now we come to our winner, this heinously catchy song was recommend by no less than three separate people – mainepaperpusher (https://mainepaperpusher.wordpress.com/ ), SnapperTrx (https://rgdev.wordpress.com/ ), and ascreasey ( https://amandasuecreasey.com/ ) – so thank you all for this song in my head. Despite what you may have feared, I don’t hate you at all, I’m much too focused on hating the song itself. I’m joking of course, the only song / person I really hate is Zip-a-de-do-da and the monster who wrote it, whom I will hate till the end of my days. Anyway, ‘Baby Shark’ was created by Pinkfong – which is a South Korean educational entertainment company -and unsurprisingly it is one of their most popular songs, at 2.9 billion views and counting. I won’t tell you what’s it about because if I start to recount it, that song is just gonna start playing in my head again, and then I’m not sleeping tonight. So I’ll just leave you with this thought, isn’t it strange that so many of these ‘evil’ songs were made for children. I mean not all of them, but a large majority were made for those of a younger generation then the people that wrote them. An odd thought , but the song has started up again, so I’ll leave it at that.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little journey into insanity we’ve stepped down into together, if you have make sure to follow my Wee blog for many more such high quality content. Or check me out on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and now my brand new Facebook Page – The Wee Writing Lassie. Until next time, My Wee Readers, have a bonny day.

Advertisements

The Top Ten Songs of the Roadtrip Soundtrack

Well, here we are, My Wee Readers, the final post of my Holiday Trilogy – and it only took me…at least two months to complete. Wow, that’s a big thought. Anyway, onward. I’ve been planning, seeing as it is one of my more popular posts, to write a follow up to ‘The Writing Lassie’s Top Ten Evil Songs’ – using the suggestions you left in the comments (so if you want to add another suggestion, now’s the time to do it). But before we get into the very worst humanity has to offer, let’s take a step back, and look at the best. In preparation for my family’s epic road-trip into the Highlands, I compiled a playlist of all our favorite songs as soundtrack for our wee adventure. Here are ten of the best.

10. Born in the USA

Sing it Bruce!

Released October 1984 – so a good ten years before I was even born – Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA is a commentary on the plight of the Vietnam War Veteran when he comes back home. Once famously used by Ronald Reagan – a man who had clearly never got the joke – on his presidency Campaign. This song has always been a favorite of my family’s, thus it was an obvious choice to include on our road-trip’s soundtrack. I remember listening to this surprisingly rousing tune as we entered the rolling mountain lands of the Cairgorm National Park.

9. You’ll Be Back

You’ll Be Back Bitches!

Sung by Jonathan Groff , who you may recognize from Glee, if like me you are re-watching it on Netflix, this villain song from the Hit musical Hamilton – which depicts the life and death of the founding father Alexander Hamilton – is one of my brother’s favorite songs. Thus it was a perfect choice to help start our road-trip with that theatrical flare that can only come from a former king of England. Sing it away George, sing it away.

8. Donald Where’s your Troosers?

Will someone get this man a pair of trousers?!

Performed by Andy Stewart, this is a very strange song – in which a man wonders around with no trousers, while women ask him where on earth his trousers are. I believe it’s implied that he’s wearing a kilt instead, but it’s not altogether clear – and given the nature of the song, either outcome is likely. In truth its a very infectious song, that won’t leave your head no matter how hard you shake it – I mean, I can’t even remember why I didn’t include it in my Evil Song List to begin with.

7. Don’t Stop Me Now

Freddie Mercury is King

Oh Freddie Mercury, you were truly the King of Rock. Performed by the band Queen, with front man Freddie Mercury singing vocals, many have tried to fathom the meaning of this catchy, up-beat tune. But whether it was a Bisexual Pride Anthem – Freddie was Bi himself after all – an ode, to the front-man’s decodant lifestyle – as the other members of the band claim – or just a fun song, about having a very good time really doesn’t matter to me. Because whatever the case, it is a damn good song to have on a Road trip.

6. Micheal in the Bathroom

I have all the Feels.

Performed by George Salazar, ‘Micheal in the Bathroom’ is a heart wrenching song about betrayal and abandonment from, and I’m just going to say it, one of the strangest Musicals I’ve ever come across – Be More Chill. Okay, stop me if you heard this story before – High-schooler Jeremy feels like too much of a loser to speak to the girl he likes, so after hearing about it from some guy in a bathroom (not Micheal) he decides to take this thing called a SQUIP, to help boost his popularity. What is a SQUIP you ask? Why, a SQUIP is an advanced processing computer from Japan, condensed into pill form. And if you take it with Mountain Dew – don’t ask me why it never really explains – then the SQUIP will connect to you brain and help you to negotiate the terrifying world of pubescent life. Oh, it also shows up as Kenu Reeves in your perception if you don’t change it to someone else… *gasp for air* and that is the basic premise of Be More Chill.

5. I Don’t Know How to Love Him

Mary Magdalene is always a win.

Ah Crucifixion, a far more saner topic to have a musical about. Written by Andrew Loyd Webber, Jesus Christ Superstar tells the tale of the days leading up to Jesus’ death and his subsequent Crucifixion. My family’s not particularly religious, so growing up this was my only exposure to that story that I really paid attention to – which may or may not have caused some strife with my slightly more religious classmates. I mean you mention one time that your favorite disciple is Judas Iscariot and suddenly everyone’s claiming you’re gonna go to hell. Look people, I was eight or nine, Jesus kind of sounded full of himself to my child mind, and Judas had the best songs. Speaking of best songs, this haunting melody is sung by Mary Magdalene played by Yvonne Elliman , as she ponders her confusing feelings for the title character. It truly is a wonderful song to listen to while your driving back home from your slightly exhausting road-trip.

4. Rule the World

Hail to the Ruler of the World

Performed by the band Take That, and featuring in the soundtrack of the film Stardust staring Qweneth Paltro – who was also in Glee, and…other things as well I’m sure – Rule the World is an empowering song of love between two maniacal dictatorships, just trying to keep the populaces in control. What? That’s not what its about…but why is it called Rule the World then? That is a misleading title.

3. Everything is AWESOME

Awesome!!!

Ah, now this is much better – the first song of The Lego Movie is an upbeat tune compiled by a major corporation to lull us into a false sense of contentment so that we don’t notice as they complete their dastardly plan. Both in story and out. Plus I dare you to get it out of your head once you hear it, even just once.

2. Nothing

Best Song Ever

From the Musical ‘A Chorus Line’ this ballad is the sorry tale of a crap, probably boarder-line racist, acting teacher and the young girl who was forced to put up with him…until he died. Sorry, ruined the end there, but it is an awesome song regardless and one I most dearly recommend for any long car ride, particularly if it’s your mother’s favorite song.

1. How Far I’ll Go

The Ocean is alive, I have all the questions

Finally we come to our winner, performed by the amazingly talented Auli’i Cravalho – who was only freaking fourteen at the time of recording – and written by Lin Manuel Miranda of Hamilton fame; ‘How Far I’ll Go’ takes its place as one of the Disney Princess’ ‘I Want’ Songs. Other such contenders are ‘A Dream is a wish your heart makes’ (Cinderella); ‘Let it go’ (Elsa); ‘When will my life begin?’ (Rapunzel); ‘Almost There’ (Tianna) ; and one of my personal favorites ‘Reflection’ (Mulan). Now, why exactly did I just spend a good amount of time listing other Disney songs instead of the one I actually listened to while on my road-trip up to the Highlands? Well, two reasons really: number 1, ‘How Far I’ll Go’ needs no hyping up because its so awesome it speaks for itself – so stop reading this right now, go back up and listen to that wonderful song – and Number 2. for full musical education I believing its proper that all the Disney songs are given a shout out every now and then. I’m just kidding, I have no musical education, I just enjoy them.

Well, here we are at the end my wee readers, if you’ve enjoyed this particular musical trip down memory lane or would like to suggest an ‘evil’ song for next time, leave a comment down below. Also follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest. Until next time, my Wee Readers, have a Bonny Day.