The Wee Archive – Episode IV: Revenge of the Poldark

I’ll be honest this made a lot more sense when I was writing it fresh off the the original post – so I might recommend checking that out before you have a look down below. Either way it’s a fun read, and remember I’ll be sending out a new Mailing List this January 31st with never before seen picture, so remember to subscribe to catch it before anyone else.

Poldark Season 5 – Let’s Fix it

Well, after almost a month of waiting here it is at last, how I would fix Poldark Season 5 – grab the tissues, because apparently I don’t enjoy happy endings.

The Players

Returning Players

Ross Poldark – Former soldier, now Politician. Married and father of three. The Protagonist
Demelza Poldark – Former Kitchen maid and now wife of a politician; married with two children. Main Love interest to Protagonist.
George Warleggan – Banker and Mine Owner. Widower with one birth child and two step children. Former Villain
Elizabeth Warleggan – Former sweetheart of Ross Poldark; and wife of George Warleggan and mother of three children. Deceased.
Geoffrey Charles Poldark – Spoilt wanna-be soldier. First son of Elizabeth Warleggan; step son of George Warleggan and cousin to Ross Poldark. A Young romantic lead – though why I can’t understand.
Drake and Morwenna Carne – a blacksmith and a school teacher respectively. One the brother of Demelza and the other the cousin of Elizabeth. The Beta couple.
Dwight Enys – a doctor. Former best friend to Ross, married and father of one deceased child. The Voice of reason.
Caroline Enys – a socialite. Wife of Dr. Enys and mother to a deceased daughter. A miserable wife.

The New Players

Ned Despard – Former General and Former Governor of Jamaica. Married to Kitty and friend of Poldark. A new Task
Kitty Despard – a protestor and former slave. Wife of Ned Despard. A helpful player
Ralph Hanson – a plantation owner. Wannabe future father-in-law of George Warleggan. A Villain
Cecily Hanson – a young protestor. Daughter of Ralph Hanson. Romantic Interest for Geoffrey-Charles.
Tress Tregidden – the new maid of Ross and Demelza Poldark. Seems to hate Demelza and fancies Poldark, for some reason that’s never made clear in the show.
Joseph Merceron – godfather of crime in London. The secret brother of Ralph Hanson. The Main Villain

Wow, that’s a lot of people – and it’s not even all of them. There are too many characters and their storylines to keep track of here, and more importantly too many villains. In the past Poldark only really had the Warleggans as any kind of major embodied threat to the heroes. With a handful of minor villains to go along with them. But a major scope crime lord, and his secret half-brother, as well as whatever the maid was doing – not to mention the French that come in at the end. No, no it’s too much.
So, first thing, we get rid of Joseph Merceron and his secret half-brother Ralph Hanson – their maneuverers are not only unneeded for most of the good drama to take place, but they also complicate an already over stuffed mess of a final season.
There we haven’t even really begun yet and we’re already two new characters down.

Plot A

Ned Despard dies in the first episode, there’s no need to keep him around any longer than that.
Poldark goes to London the first time to try and free him, but he fails. Yet his poking into the corruption of the government still gets him noticed by important people – he’s just not told about it in the first god damned episode.
Enraged by his defeat Poldark leaves London, with Dwight and Kitty in tow.
Poldark offers Kitty a place with him and Demelza – without of course consulting with Demelza first
Without Ned there to cause trouble – to lead the angry mob to the Warleggans mansion, or to yell at good honest miners that they’re cowards if they don’t use a just a little more dynamite, that part of the tale falls to Ross himself. He doesn’t get to spend the story smiling indulgently at the man who starts fights in bars, or throws aside genuine concern because it doesn’t fit into his view of what bravery is. Now, he is that man.
It’s grief from the loss of Ned, mingled with the already formed guilt at the loss of Elizabeth (yes, in this version of the show that will be addressed and Ross won’t be able to toss it aside with a few placating words from Demelza). But beyond that Ross has lost faith in his government, and doesn’t see the point in playing nice anymore.
There’s nothing Demelza can do or say that will make this…madman see sense. And every time she tries it just starts another fight, each one more bitter than the last. (And that’s not even getting into the fights they’ll have because of Plot B.)
Eventually Ross’ anger and both Poldark’s screaming creates such a toxic environment, that Kitty feels she has no choice but to accept Dwight and Caroline’s offer to reside in their residence instead.
It’s another blow for Ross – who feels like he’s failed his old friend all over again. He’ll be angry at himself of course, for driving Kitty away but that anger with manifest more as snipes at Demelza for doing the same thing. But at this point they’re fighting so much who would really notice anymore. No, the main and more notable part of Ross’ new found talent for bile gets flung at Dwight Enys for taking Kitty away.
Dwight and Ross’ friendship has been cooling anyway thanks to Plot C – but in an anger induced tirade, when Ross accuses Dwight of not only disloyalty to Ned (whose praises the doctor had refused to sing) but of having ungentlemanly intentions towards Kitty, the doctor punches the mine owner and tells him to get out.
His attitude having cut him off from friends, compatriotism and even his own wife – Ross is left alone to think on all that the world has taken away from him.
And that’s when he gets the message – the Warleggans have shut their mine due to expenses. The mine that was once a Poldark mine.
Under the influence of not only his own and anger and grief – George married Elizabeth, stole the Poldark ancestral home, and he stood for everything Ross Poldark had ever fought against – but the cunning and inciting words of his new maid Tress; Ross gathers up an angry mob.
Now, if you’re already a Poldark fan I know what you’ll be saying right about now – Wee Lassie, what are you doing? Poldark would never lead a mob up to his ancestral home, and to that I say…here me out. Yes, if Poldark was in a sound state of mine, he would never do this – he’s helped turn away such mobs from the Poldark home in the past. But the point here is he isn’t in a sound state of mind. He’s grieving twice over now; he’s lost faith in at the very least his government and its capacity to take care of those that needed help and most of all he’s isolated from anyone who’d talk sense into him.
He marches on George’s house, knocks down the door when George “or at least who he thinks is George” refuses to open. And finds himself slap bang in the middle of Plot C.

Plot B

But before we dive into that, let’s take step back and look at Plot B. In the show Demelza needs to step up at home because Ross is away at London, which is treated like it’s this new big thing, but I don’t know why. Ross had been away in London for long stretches of the year before.
Most of the drama in this part of the story comes from Demelza clashing with the untrustworthy new maid Tress Tregidden. Who thinks Demelza has forgotten her roots, and loves causing trouble? Which sounds fine on paper, but was really dumb in execution. Mainly because Tress seemed to lack a direct goal for all the mayhem she caused – first it seems like she wants more rights for the poor, but then Demelza hires her and suddenly she wants to replace her as mistress of the house. So, she decides to do that by…seducing Demelza’s brother. She also for some reason starts printing her own money because now she’s working for the main villains, but she wasn’t when she did those other bad things. I don’t know it’s all just so very confusing. So, let’s see if we can cut down on all this mess.

For starters, let’s change Tress’ introduction – we don’t need to see her as part of a mob of angry people unable to get work from the Poldark mine – she’s going to end up the Poldark’s maid, let’s just introduce her as the new Poldark maid.
However, beyond that the most annoying thing about Tress is not her actions themselves – so for our rewrite we’re basically going to keep those the same.
No, what I’m gonna chance – is her goal. Namely, I’m making her a French spy. It brings the French plot in sooner, and gives Tress a consistent motivation for her troublemaking.
We also get more of a reason for Ross to start romancing her in order to keep his undercover position with the Frenchmen up. It tries to do that in the show but like why would the French care if Ross was having a relationship with Tress. Like she’s some random poor girl, who cares show…who cares.

Plot C

Plot C involves the madness of Sir George Warleggan, the only decent storyline of the show – in fact it’s so decent that I recommend you go watch these parts of season 5 right now. Don’t worry I’ll wait, go and find it on Amazon, or Netflix, or wherever they’re playing it today.
….
You done? Good. Well, we’re keeping most of what happens pretty much the same, the only really difference here is that unlike the real show, we’re not going to have George mysteriously forget about his madness, and the torture that other doctor put him through before Dwight stopped him from jumping off that cliff. Bumps to the head are never so quick and easy as that.
So, George isn’t going to forget, but he will be hurt.
When Ross barges in with his Mob, demanding that George reopen his mine – he spots George standing on the landing and heads upstairs after him, however unlike in the show that angry Mob isn’t just going to stand around politely while their leader has a little chat with the banker. No, they are going to start wrecking the place.
Meanwhile up the stairs, when Ross starts yelling at George the knight of the realm has a full relapse – and begins to see Elizabeth standing behind Ross. Shaking her head and trembling in fear. Gripped in his delusion George leaps at Ross and they both go tumbling down the stairs.
And that is the moment when Dwight arrives on the scene
You see just like in the show, Dwight has been treating George for his lunacy – and while that has been happening the two men have been slowly growing closer, I’d even go so far as to say they’ve actually become friends. Thus, you can imagine how disturbed he was to find George’s door kicked in.
And how truly angry he is finding George injured on the floor – arm broken and let’s say knocked out – with a seething Ross standing over him.
This is the moment when Dwight really lays into Ross. You know that fight they almost had in the last episode, when Ross is behaving so terribly – but Dwight holds himself back so all they really have is a few tense words, because we can’t have a big fight between our main character and one of his oldest friends – our main character is just too likable for that. Now though he lets it all fly loose, how Ross is letting his worse faults control him. He has nearly ruined his relationship with Demelza, alienated all of his allies and continues to leave a wake of destruction in his righteous path. How many more lives must be ruined or damaged before Ross Poldark is satisfied? How many more Mothers have to die, how many more men have to be driven to madness by their own grief? And there it is, out in the open – Dwight slaps a hand to his lips but it’s too late. Ross knows now, he knows that George is mad, and more importantly the mob now know it too.
Dwight has ruined his patient’s reputation.
Ross leaves the Warleggan house, defeated and broken – and goes back home to think on the choices of his life.

Plot D

Happens exactly like it does in the show.

Plot E

Gone, Geoffrey Charles is so annoying he’s not even going to get a passing mention in my fixed season five.

Plot F

Combined into Plot C, so George’s and Dwight’s character arch are now even more closely linked together.

Plot G

Dwight and Caroline lost their baby daughter Sarah, to a congenital heart defect in season four. This will be at the forefront of their troubled marriage this year. Rather than taking a back seat to weird worries of infidelity like it did in the show. Oh, those will still be there – capitalised in the character of Kitty and her eventual retreat back to Jamaica just to escape the insanity of the two couples she’s taken refuge with. Poor Kitty, she really does get a raw deal in both versions of the show. This plotline will also capitalise on feelings of disconnection and resentment between Dwight and Caroline. Caroline feels like Dwight doesn’t respect her when he keeps things, like his PTSD or his patient’s names, from her. This is the reason that Caroline convinces herself that Dwight is cheating on her, either with Kitty and then when she is gone, with this mysterious client that he refuses to tell her anything about.

Plot H

In the background all this personal nonsense the eagle-eyed viewer may have spotted the men, in black cloaks following our protagonists. Of course, they were too busy raging and…going mad to notice themselves but that’s beside the point.
When Ross arrives home, he is confronted by the leader of these strange men – turns out they were the secret service, taken an interest in Ross when he started poking around about his friend’s death, and their interest was sealed when they discovered that Ross’ new maid was a French spy.
Don’t ask how they found out; it doesn’t really matter – they just know everything.
They belive there might be an invasion from the French in this part of the country, and they coerce Ross into seducing Tress for their location.
Then he has to go undercover with the French, and everything pretty much happens as it did in the show. Hey, I didn’t say I hated this storyline – I just thought it should be spread-out over more than the last two episodes.

Endings

The Poldarks – Ross is sent off to be a spy in France, just like in the show. Really the only difference here is that he doesn’t have a giant smile plastered to his face to try and trick the audience into thinking this is a happy ending. It’s a bad ending and we’re gonna treat it like it’s a bad ending. Demelza does eventually forgive her husband, after she saves him from being discovered as a fraud by the French. And afterwards when he finally breaks down form the loss of both Elizabeth and Ned, she takes him in her arms and decides not to flee to Jamaica, but to stay and try and make their marriage work again. And then Ross is ordered away to France, leaving Demelza behind to try and keep the mine, and the family together.
The Warleggans – George and Dwight’s friendship is damaged, as well as their doctor-patient trust. This is somewhat mended however when George saves Dwight and Ross from being stabbed by the French General. The Warleggans try and hush up the rumors of George’s madness, but eventually their only choice is to leave Cornwall for good.
The Carnes – Same as the show.
Dwight and Caroline – This plotline will end similarly to the show, with both of them realising they’ve still got a lot to work through after the death of their daughter, and that they may never be alright again; but at least acknowledging that and trying to work through it together. Although Dwight will not be going to France, because that is terrible.

If you’ve enjoyed this little reimaging of mine, don’t forget to check out the original post on the Wee Writing Lassie Blog, if you haven’t already. Also check me out on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Goodreads, Tumblr, and Pinterest. It’s a difficult time on the planet for everyone right now, so remember to laugh whenever you can and stay safe out there. Oh, and before I forget, have a very bonny day.

If you’ve enjoyed this now more than a little confusing post of mine why not follow the Wee blog if you haven’t already, and follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, TikTok, Facebook , GoodReads , Kofi and Mastodon for all the good stuff. Until next time Wee Readers, stay safe, stay sane, and have a very bonny day.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Ninth Day

Well, this is the last day of my holiday – which means this will be the last post in The Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History Blog series to be put up on the blog first. So remember to sign up to the Wee Mailing List to receive the final days of this Blog series – which will be released in a Newsletter on the 26th of December.

Let’s push on.

On the last day of my Christmas Holidays my employer gave to me…one hell of a Christmas Party!

The Twelfth Night was an old Christian Holiday marking the end of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. Interestingly it’s actually on January 5th depending on the time of counting. Well, I found it’s interesting- since I don’t usually associate January with anything Christmas related.

In 567 A.D to fix an “administrative problem” with matching their Roman Calendar with the lunar calendars used in various regions of their Empire, The Council of Tours declared “The Twelve Days of Christmas” a sacred time, establishing the tradition of “Advent fasting” to usher in the feast.

While there are many traditions associated with this medieval rager – not least among which was the custom of going from house-to-house singing, often referred to as wassailing (wait a minute, we’ve heard that name before) – I think my favourite would have to be the Twelfth Night Cake. Which is – as you might expect – a cake, but hidden inside this confectionery hides one bean and one pea. And whom so ever finds the bean shall be king for the night; and whoever finds the pea shall be queen.

Again, if I’m getting any of this wrong please tell me down below in the comments.

As I write this I realise that I’m probably not doing this wickedly fun festival justice. I mean this is only a short blog post, it’s not like I’ve got a novel’s worth of space…oooh idea. Are you into the Twelfth Night? The Twelve Days of Christmas? Good. Then go read The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair. Not only will you find multiple chapters detailing this fascinating tradition, but romance, humour and perhaps even a witch trial or two. Which is always fun, for the reader anyway – maybe less so for the characters.

If you’ve enjoyed this Christmas Folklore / tradition titbit, why not Follow the Wee blog if you haven’t already. And remember to check me out on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads, Tumblr, TikTok, Kofi and Facebook. Until Next time Wee Readers, have a very bonny day and a very merry Holiday season.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Eighth Day

On the Eighth Day of my Christmas Holidays my Employer gave to me…eight dead birds with stuffing up their butts.

As far as we can look back human societies have been celebrating their winter festivals with midwinter feasts. They would have looked slightly different to the roast turkey and stuffing pictured above – heck I’m vegan so mine doesn’t even look like that – but the feeling would have been the same.

Archaeological finds have shown that feasts were conducted during celebrations of the pagan midwinter solstice. With the main meats being pork and beef – which would either be cooked over a spit or chopped up and used in winter stews. Alongside the meat would be seasonal fruits like crabapples or berries, different from us and yet not at all.

From the Romans with their Saturnalia, to the Monks of the Middle Ages with their special spices and roasted fish – humans have been using food to eat away at our winter worried from the very start.

Jump to Tudor times and things are looking down right decedent at our Christmas tables. Or at least the tables of the wealthy. Not only is this the arrival of the Turkey into England , – in 1523 – we also have things like blackbirds, badgers and swans filling the feasts of Henry VIII. Not to mention the mince meat pies, which back then were the size of a baby’s cradle.

Come the Georgian period, the Brussel Sprout makes its first appearance- at least on the British plate.

By Victorian times, this midwinter feast has become a smaller more intimate affair. With trimmings like roasted parsnips and potatoes, along with a cooked goose making it’s way onto even the most humble of plates.

And come to today where we celebrate this midwinter feast in anyway we so choose – nut roasts, KFC, Chinese Food – it really doesn’t matter. Just so long as you’re stuffing yourself silly, you’re continuing this wonderful tradition. Oh, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Seventh Day

On the seventh day of my Christmas Holidays my employer gave to me…seven Yule logs burning in an open fire.

Dating back to at least the medieval ages – the tradition of the “Yule Log” involves a specially chosen log (off times a whole tree) being placed in the family hearth; to feed the fire throughout “The 12 Days of Christmas”. (But more about that later.)

Afterwards the remains of the log would be placed under the bed for luck and protection against threats of lightning and fire itself. Some people even believed that by counting the sparks off the log, they could read their future.

Some say the tradition is Nordic in origin; and indeed “Yule” was a winter festival celebrated in Scandinavia, and many other parts of Northern Europe, in particular Germany and England.

The first written mention of the practice dates back to 1648, where it is referred to as a “Christmas Log” in a poetry collection by Robert Herrick.

As for my myself I was always more familiar with the term in regards to Chocolate Yule Logs.

We had the most delicious vegan log one year. You never know, might have one this year as well.

As usual if I’ve gotten anything wrong, please mention it down below in the comments. It’s why I have them.

Twelves Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Fifth Day

On the Fifth Day of my Christmas Holidays my employer gave to me…Five Carol Singers!

Christmas Carols as a tradition can be traced as far back as 4^th century Rome, where they were grim hymns sung all in Latin. In the 9^th and 10 century, European monasteries made Christmas “sequences” and “prose” into rhythmic stanzas.

However recognizable English Christmas carols wouldn’t appear – at least in a recorded way – until 1426 when Chaplain John Awdlay listed twenty-five “carols of cristemas” in one of his works. Songs undoubtedly already made popular by groups calling themselves ‘wassailers’ who went from house to house singing the hymns. In fact, many carols originated from communal songs sung during all kinds of celebrations, and not just Christmas.

Flash forward to the 19^th century where the publication of the first “Christmas music books” suddenly expanded the popularity of carols beyond all previous expectations.

So if you’re bugged at your door this Christmas by people in Victorian garbs singing ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’, you can blame it on the Romans. Hmm…most of this has been just plain history not much Folklore, oh well there’s always tomorrow.

Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Fourth Day

On the fourth day of my Christmas holidays my employer gave to me…4 popping crackers at a party.

In 1847 Tom smith invented the Christmas Cracker, intending for them to be an evolution of his already popular bon-bon sweet. However, after hearing the crackle of a log, he put on the fire, Smith was inspired to make the paper cracker go off with a bang! The sweet inside was eventually replaced with a toy or present.

A memorial fountain was erected in honor of Tom Smith and his family in Finsbury Square, London.

And interesting fact about Christmas Crackers in the present, they’re explicitly prohibited from being brought on any commercial flights in and to the United States. Britain is apparently a little more lenient, and it depends on what airline you use.

Twelve Days of Christmas Folklore & History: The Second Day

On the second day of my Christmas Holiday my employer gave to me… two glowing branch evergreen trees. Remember to sign up to the Wee Mailing List to receive the final days of the Blog series.

Many cultures from at least as far back as Ancient Egypt and Rome – if not probably far before them as well – have seen the evergreen as something special and sacred and took them into their homes. Many cultures believed they could keep away such things as witches, ghosts, evil spirits and even illness. Celtic Druids would decorate their temples with evergreen boughs to symbolise everlasting life. However, Christmas trees as we would recognise them first began in Germany, with the tradition of candlelit evergreen furs which were brought to America in the 1800s. And made popular on the world stage in 1846 by Queen Victorian and her husband prince Albert.

Because it’s always Queen Victoria.

8 Strange things I saw while I was definitely not stalking Ailish Sinclair

What Ho, Wee Readers, well it’s certainly been a while now, hasn’t it? I know, I know. I did put up a small post last month crowing about the social media platform I just joined; but as far as long haul, involved posts go this is the first in a while.

Don’t worry, I promise, it was worth the wait.

Now I’m sure you all remember my good friend Ailish Sinclair – the fellow writing lassie I first interviewed here, when she published her first book back in 2019. And then again here, when she published her second book.

And if you don’t remember those posts, you should certainly remember her books:

The Mermaid and the Bear

Set in a fictional castle in Aberdeenshire, Ailish’s debut novel, THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, blends an often overlooked period of history, the Scottish witchcraft accusations, in particular the 1597 Aberdeen witchcraft panic, with a love story.

Fireflies and Chocolate

FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE, was inspired by the 600 children and young people who were kidnapped from Aberdeen during the 1740s and sold into indentured servitude in the American Colonies. The story follows the adventures of Elizabeth Manteith from the castle and her determined efforts to get back home. There’s love. There’s proper derring-dos on the high seas… And there’s chocolate!

Available where all good books can be found.

But plugging aside, the point is Ailish and I are good friends, and I admire her greatly as a writer – I wouldn’t have interviewed her, not once but twice, if I didn’t. So you see I am not stalking her, because I don’t need to stalk her. I know this is a strange thing to focus on, but I feel this is an important fact to establish before we start our story. Despite what any authorities may try to tell you, I was not stalking her.

Right now that that’s settled, sit back and enjoy as I recount the strange tale of “The 8 strange things I saw while I was definitely not stalking Ailish Sinclair”.

8. Chocolate

Look the whole thing sort of spiralled out of control. When I saw her in that shop a week ago I never intended to follow her at all, let alone well…well I suppose if I’m to explain myself, I should really start at the beginning.

And the beginning, I have to say, is really quite mundane. You see I didn’t start out that day knowing I’d see her at all. In fact, all I’d intended to do that day was go for my weekly food shop. So, there I was doing my own shopping, minding my own business, thank you so very much. And who do you think I suddenly saw in the next isle over – that’s right, Ailish Sinclair. After having told me she was out of the country that week.

I thought about going up to her. Saying hello, you know normal not creepy stuff.

But I stopped in shock when I saw what was in her trolley…

Chocolate.

Bars and Bars of Chocolate.

Big Bars, small bars – a whole trolley full of bars of Chocolate.

No judgement or anything.

But…

Really…

That’s weird, right?

I mean that is seriously…not normal.

But whatever, not judging.

But I decided not to go up to her; she seemed annoyed – almost bothered by something. Maybe nervous, she does have a new book recently out. Sisters at the Edge of the World, available at Amazon now.

It’s her first self-published title.

Maybe that was it.

Whatever the case, I finished my own shopping, and decided to put the weird occurrence behind me.

7. Crazy Driving

As I was loading my shopping into my car, I saw Ailish Sinclair again. Just by chance you understand.

She was shoving her bags and bags of Chocolate into her own boot, nibbling on one of the smaller ones as she did so. And she looked so upset, my heart went out to her. I almost went over too, but she suddenly darted into her car – her massive, massive car and skidded out of that car park like she was suddenly on fire.

Or maybe she’d seen a ghost.

It couldn’t be me, could it?

Nah, I’m a nice person. Why would anyone run away from me? In fact, I’m such a nice person that in my concern, I hopped in my own car and went after her.

I followed her calmly down the highway, keeping back just enough so that she probably couldn’t see me in her rear windows – but not so far back that I couldn’t still watch as she…well it’s kind of hard to explain.

It was technically driving I suppose – she was moving her car down the highway. But I was certain that it was no form of driving that would have passed a driving test, of any kind.

To say the whole thing looked erratic at best was like saying a hurricane was just a bit of wind.

Back and forth she skittered across the road, from one lane to the next, as if she couldn’t make up her mind which way she wanted to go. And then with a skidding shriek she suddenly made her choice and shot down a side road.

I followed at a more sedate pace – which meant that from the safe advantage of several car widths away, I could see her shooting down that road. It wasn’t a particularly narrow road, as side country roads go, but because her car is just that big she took up the whole god damn thing.

Thank Goodness we didn’t meet anyone coming the other way, otherwise this wild driving would be significantly less funny and more, well tragic. And I have to tell you Wee Reader, I don’t feel like writing one of those today.

For the next, oh let’s say an hour and a half we drove like that, her metres in front of me taking up the entire width of the road, and me just following like any decent person would when they see a friend, or at least someone they know, start driving like a maniac. We drove like that so long I was lulled into compliancy, so I didn’t really notice where we were driving …that is until we passed the sign.

Welcome to Brodie Castle.

6. Staring at Castles

Followed her up the drive.

Parked behind a tree so she wouldn’t see me, and waited for her to get out of her own car.

Nothing creepy there, I was just concerned is all – besides I like a good castle myself and Brodie is certainly one of the best ones in my oppion.

Maybe I wouldn’t even mind going on one of those guided tours, they’re informative and I haven’t been on one in a while.

I just had to make sure Ailish was okay first. And I’d only know that, when she let go of her steering wheel and got out of the car.

Which, she did, after about twenty minutes.

She got out of her car, and she stood there in front of that castle and stared at it.

Just stood there, still as a ramrod, and stared up at that castle.

And she did that for the next three hours.

Perhaps even longer than that, for I set my car in reverse, turned and drove away when it started to get dark.

Look I’m all for helping, but I think this is just a bit beyond my capabilities.

I mean, I’ve never seen a writer that took what they said on their bio so seriously.

5. Swimming in the Ocean

Thoroughly creeped out, I decided to go to the beach to clear my head.

You know get a bit of blue mind going.

Clear my thoughts.

Maybe I shouldn’t have left her there, just staring at that castle – but come on, that was weird.

Maybe I should have just gone up to her and asked what she was doing but to be completely honest Wee reader, I was afraid to. Afraid of what she might tell me, or maybe I was just afraid of what she might accuse me of.

I’m not a stalker.

I’m not.

It didn’t take me long to find a beach

We’re in the north of Scotland, there’s at least one all the way up the coast.

So it had only taken me about ten minutes to drive away from that castle, and reach that beach.

I tell you this now, because it’s highly relevant to what I say next.

You see when I stepped up to the blue water and gazed out onto its shinning surface, I realised that there was someone already standing on the beach.

I think you can guess who by this point in the post.

That’s right, it was Ailish Sinclair

She’d beaten me to the beach.

The woman who I’d left staring at a castle, had beaten me to a beach that was a ten minute drive away.

And the strangest thing of all Wee Reader, I couldn’t see any sign of her car.

She’d apparently beaten me here without a car.

And if you can believe it Wee Reader, that wasn’t even the strangest thing about the whole situation.

Oh no, that happened when I turned back from trying to catch a glimpse of her car.

Turned back round to the sound of a splash.

She’d jumped into the sea Wee readers, with all her clothes on.

For a moment I could see her there, her arms caught for a brief moment in that over head stroke people get so good at when they’re learning to swim.

And then another splash, and something like a flick of a tail, the flick of a mermaid’s tail and she was gone

Okay…what the fuck?

4. No one lives here – this is a wild Forest

Look…I ran then, I’m not afraid or ashamed to admit it.

I mean wouldn’t you do the same thing?

She had a freaking mermaid tail.

I mean I knew she loved them, but like…whatever I saw then, that was a bit excessive.

Okay maybe I was a little ashamed of myself.

I mean I see one, okay a couple of weird things while I was certainly not stalking my good friend Ailish Sinclair, and all I can do is run away?

I mean I’m not crazy, I certainly saw something. But I’m still not one hundred percent sure what I did see.

All I know is something odd was happening with Ailish.

And so racked with guilt, I drove to her house the next day. I found it on the internet, I’m not a stalker I’m just a very concerned friend. Although I have to say, I thought I’d gone up the wrong road. Because this place…no one could live here, it was in the middle of the freaking woods.

Seriously the track was broken, and pot-holey but I didn’t find one house at the end it.

Sure I found something that looked a little like a garden, but only because it had a lawn of cut grass and a giant pink bench.

There was no house, not anymore.

It was almost as if someone was hiding it from me.

So I left the garden, abandoning my car behind a hedge of wild rhododendrons.

And made my way further into the woods, hoping to find some sort of life there.

I didn’t find any life, but I found a lot of flowers.

Got lost for hours trying to find that house, but to be honest I think all I found was myself deeper in a pine plantation than any sane person should go.

I think the house may have been somewhere in the garden, but there was no finding it now.

I was lost.

Lost my car.

Lost my way.

Possibly even lost my mind.

And that dear reader is when I heard it.

The roar, no the growl, no the scream, of a wild animal.

Oh Christ, I thought to myself, I’m going to die.

All because I was not stalking Ailish Sinclair.

3. Bears…wait no foxes

Look, that noise I heard – it was a growl, I was 99% sure of that. Or at least it was a noise I had never really heard before.

It was a bear.

I was certain of it.

Because Ailish Sinclair loves bears and after what I’d seen her do at the beach, and the castle for that matter, I would have believed her capable of anything.

Certainly releasing a bear…a wild bear back into the forests of Scotland. Sure, why not? Good promotion for her newest book, Sisters at the Edge of the World.

I swear I’m not crazy – I heard a bear growl at me then.

Bears are all over her books – you should see what they get up to in newest one.

I’m not crazy.

I swear I heard a bear.

I just didn’t see one.

And the thing that jumped out of the bush by my feet…wasn’t a bear.

It was a fox.

And a line of her adorable cubs.

I know… I know I heard something in those woods.

Something, that didn’t sound natural. Maybe it wasn’t a bear, but it wasn’t something that belonged in this world either.

And as I stood there, waiting for the large line of fox cubs to finish crossing that forest path, I thought back to all I had seen, to all I had witnessed while I had been innocently not stalking someone. I couldn’t stop the thin sliver of fear crawling up my spine.

I can’t even understand it, after all, nothing I’d seen had been threatening, just weird….and really, who I am I to judge someone for being weird.

And that dear reader is when I heard the voice.

2. Wild Singing

At first, I didn’t know what I was hearing. It sounded a bit like a bird song, but then bird songs don’t have words to them.

I can’t begin to tell you, word for word the song I heard then – for as I turned and followed it up that hilled forest path, the thing kept fading in and out. Not as if the singer kept stopping and starting, but as if their voice and the notes they sang kept getting mixed up with the noises of nature. One second I was listening to a clear line of how much the singer loved nature, and the next it was just the twittering of little birds.

It was almost like, instead of her voice fading in and out, it was the singer herself.

Which is mad right?

I mean, people don’t do that.

Surely, I was just dehydrated from all the not stalking I’d been doing.

Yeah that was it.

And surely once I’d reached the top of the hill, all would be answered. And for the first time in weeks Ailish and I would be able to sit down and have a real conversation about all this madness.

Right?

Right?!

1. Magic and Witch Stones

It had been sunny when I’d first started up that hill, one of the sunniest days in an already sunny year. I’d been sweating. But I have to say, Wee Reader, it wasn’t like that when I reached the top of the hill.

A thick fog coated everything, trees, rocks, creatures, the sky – it was so thick it almost hid the sun itself. And the song that I’d followed up here, well that had melted into the sound of a cloud over head. Yet still I marched on.

Because I knew where this path lead.

And do you know why?

Because I’ve been here before.

And if you follow Ailish Sinclair’s blog – which you should, check it out here – you should know where we are too.

It’s called the Witch Stone – though I don’t believe it’s actually marking anything to do with witches. Well… historical witches anyway.

Look I’m not saying that Ailish Sinclair is a witch, she’s never said she is. And despite some of the odd things I’ve heard and seen over the course of this little adventure of mine, I’ve seen no evidence of that. At least I don’t think so.

And yet as I clear the top of the small flat hill the stone sits on, I can’t help but notice that this whole place looks like it’s the site of some kind of ritual.

The whole place is covered in the petals of flowers, none the sort that grow here naturally. The stone itself is wearing a crown of the strange flowers 🌸. The air feels smoky as if someone’s lit a fire 🔥 but there’s no smoke, or in fact any sign of a fire at all. And at the centre of the place sits a blue and purple cloth, made of a kind of scratchy, shimmery fabric that feels strange in my fingers when I try and pick it up.

I can still hear the song, but it’s more in the distance now as if it was never really here at all. And as I stand there, holding that strange cloth I can almost swear that I can see Ailish. Just over there by the Witch Stone, I can see her walk towards the stone, and then she’s gone. It’s almost….and I admit that this is really gonna sound crazy. But it’s almost like she’s just walked into the stone.

And I think to myself…. why would she do that?

Now how.

Why?

Why would she step into a stone, standing or otherwise?

I mean maybe she’s using the witch stone as a means to travel to a distance point in the past, probably to the battle of Mons Graupius – that’s where her latest book is set anyways – but it could be anywhere. Anytime. Maybe to Culloden, or back even farther to the trials of the Aberdeen witches, maybe even to a place not yet written about.

It would explain why all her historical fiction is so eerily accurate.

Heavy research, my arse.

She’s using Time Travel Magic!

Which is what we in the buiz call… cheating.

I must be going mad surely, a time traveling author who writes historical fiction about the times she travels back to.

I mean it’s not even a reference to a book she’s written.

What do you think, a crazy reality, or just a mad story? If you’ve enjoyed this strange little trip of mine, don’t forget to follow the Wee Blog if you haven’t already. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, Goodreads and TikTok. Also why not subscribe to the Wee Mailing List by October 14th to find out exactly what happened on that hill top from Ailish herself. Also if you’re concerned that she basically vanishes into thin air at the end of my story, why not pop on over to her blog and give it a wee follow. Also check her out on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Goodreads , LinkedIn , Facebook ,Kofi, and TikTok as well. Why not subscribe to her newsletter while you’re at it. And remember, Ailish Sinclair’s latest book ‘Sister’s at the Edge of the World‘ is available now on Amazon. Why not buy a copy, maybe she’ll come out of the stone if you do 😁